Mailbag: The OU Fiji Edition
1:13 PM EDT on August 3, 2012
Welcome back to the Friday mailbag. Once again, our mailbag sponsor this week is Flint. In case you have a really bad short-term memory, Flint is the cool new restaurant located in the bottom of the Colcord Hotel in downtown Oklahoma City. Whoever sent us the best email this week (which will be determined by our readers) will win a $25 Gift Certificate that they can use towards what one Ogle Mole said "is one of the best steaks in town."
Anyway, there may be a little theme to this week's mailbag. Yesterday, we let everyone know that Price Fallin and the FIJI's were throwing a pretty bug party at the Governor's Mansion next Friday. Because 80% of all OU frat kids are humorless douche bags who don't regularly read blogs or comprehend snarky, juvenile, satirical humor, we were inundated with a variety of angry emails and comments this week from them and their friends, parents, brothers, little sisters and trust fund managers.
One of the emails even came from Trip Lopez, the "Corresponding Secretary" of the OU FIJI house. He wanted to set the record straight. Here's what he wrote:
To the moderator/author of this blog:
Just to clear a couple things up. The Phi Gamma Delta Parent's Club and active members are setting up for the party and tearing down after. In no way will the taxpayers be paying for any part of this party.
I nor any of my brothers have ever seen a roofie in our lives. I'm not sure what your college life entailed, but they are sure not a part of ours.
Next time you try taking a shot at a well-established, respected fraternity who happens to have the son of a politician you don't like as president, get your facts straight. Anyone who reads this who isn't one of your mindless followers knows you have no idea what you're talking about or grounds on which to make such libelous accusations.
Have a good day, and hopefully you'll see how pedantic and whiny you sound before you make an even bigger mockery of yourself.
Martin (Tripp) James Lopez IIICorresponding SecretaryPhi Gamma Delta - Nu Omegatripp.email@example.com
First of all, I'd like to thank Tripp for emailing us and clearing things up a bit. It is comforting to know that taxpayers won't be paying for any portion of the FIJI rush party. That being said, having the rush party at the mansion is tacky. Granted, it's not as tacky as Christina Fallin's weird photo-shoot, but it's still kind of odd.
I'd also like to thank Tripp for reinforcing the common stereotype that he and his fraternity brothers are coddled, stuck-up, spoiled brats. Seriously, have you all lived such a sheltered and protected life that you’ve never had to deal with someone poking a little fun at you? Are you all really that insecure? I didn’t make any libelous accusations or statements. I made a couple of totally average, stereotypical, and obviously satirical jokes about pampered kids who pay outlandish fees to borderline non-profit organizations just so they can feel popular, wanted and call themselves "corresponding secretaries." Now quit blowing each other and learn to take a joke and laugh at yourself. Life will be a lot more fun if you do.
Also, did you really just call our readers “mindless followers?” You’re in a fraternity! At last check, TLO readers and followers are not required to wear polo shirts, jeans and cowboy boots as part of a uniform. They don't have mandatory study time. They don’t chase squirrels as part of secret initiation ceremonies. And they don’t try to get 18-year-old girls drunk and try to sleep with them as part of some of weird bro-code. We at least wait until they are 21.
Let's take away the taxpayer argument for a second, and all agree that the Phi Gamma Delta rush party at the Governor's mansion is a dumb idea anyway.
Let's assume you are Price Fallin, congrats dude.... You've organized an event that has no beer, and your Mom is gonna show up. I don't care if the event is held on the Moon, that is a lame event.
Most importantly, the event fails the Animal House test. If your fraternity event is something that the Omega House would host, you have officially entered tool mode. Let's just hope Price avoids getting shot by his own troops.
When I first heard about the event, I thought the same damn thing. Having a party at your parents' house is silly and stupid, unless of course you are 16 and they are going out-of-town for the weekend. Then the party can be pretty fun, just ask me or my two little brothers.
I can't believe I'm doing this, but I'm writing you to defend Price Fallin. I know you despise his mom (who doesn't), and everyone knows his sister is crazy (hopefully you know the story about her and her former husband's bet to change their last names by racing baby ducks). However, Price is surprisingly not nearly as douchey as he comes across.
I supervised Price for a project that a little while ago and was not happy to see him there at first. This was a very intensive project, and I wasn't in the mood to hold his hand through it while hearing about all the fine breezies he crushed at his last date party. Well, somewhere between the upbringing from the Casady school and making sure the brake pads on his Porsche Cayenne were the right color, Price worked against all the odds to become a hard-working, well-adjusted member of society. He cared a lot more about the project than I expected and worked much harder than I could have hoped. He even interacted with a non-greek crowd without any air of superiority or arrogance that often happens. He was even cool about us giving him tons of shit about him being the governor's son.
I know he has dumb pictures on facebook and has probably joined in on plenty of stupid frat-boy college shenanigans. Heck I'm sure you can find plenty of pictures on my facebook from my glory days with a 'stone in one hand and a fine-dimed brizzle in the other (Note: I just checked my facebook, and it turns out that never actually happened to me...).
There's still hope that him being president of fiji will push him over the edge into the realm of total douche-dom, but let the guy live his life a little (at least until he graduates from OU).
In all honesty, I stopped reading the email after the line about Christina Fallin and her new husband racing ducks. That's one bizarre and somewhat entertaining visual I just can't get out of my head. Seriously, where and how do you race ducks? Is there a track around the Duck Pond in Norman? Is there a special duck racing section near the Chesapeake Boat House? Please inform us, you mindless Ogle Moles.
Also, I'm sure Price isn't that bad of a dude. I also did stupid things when I was in my late teens and early 20s. Hell, I still do stupid things today. I'm totally ready for the NewsOK.com headline "Local Blogger arrested for public intoxication outside strip club." When that happens, lets just hope it's in Tulsa County so I can get one of those cool mug shots.
Hey guys -
I know you were joking around in your post about Price, but your jokes were not too far off base. My ex was a FIJI (he's not out) and I've blown (and been blown) in their new house several times.
Just figured I would share -
That sound you just heard was Tripp Lopez spitting Perrier all over his keyboard and ordering several cases of Lysol.
Subject: What's with the obsession with Gary England
I spent two years in OKC and, I've got to admit, I don't get it. He always came across to me and my family as bumbling and a bit incompetant. I know back in the day he was *the* guy for reporting storms. Now he kinda reminds me a lot of Rod Burgundy. I've watched he and the other weather-people and Gary doesn't inspire confidence that what he's reporting is accurate. He seems utterly confused by the technology around him in his "weather center" and dependant on his off-screen assistants to figure out what the current temprature is. If he said there was a tornado down the street from my house, I'd have to look out the door before I believed him.
Is there kool-aide I should be drinking to join the pro-England bandwagon?
I can't devote an entire mailbag to fraternities, can I? Anyway, here are a couple of thoughts.
1. You can find the answer to your question by reading the first six-words to your email. Imagine spending 34-years here and having the same glorious weather deity keeping you advised of wall clouds, golf-ball sized hail and freezing drizzle? That's pretty powerful.
2. When you get struck by lighting or are swept away in flood, I guess we'll know why.
Anyway, vote for your favorite!
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