The Travels of Cardboard Jim Traber: The Medieval Fair of Norman
8:24 AM EDT on April 5, 2012
On Saturday, Spencer and I took our dear friend Cardboard Jim Traber to the Medieval Fair of Norman. We figured this would be a lot like Cardboard Jim's other travels. Show up, take pictures and not try to feel too ridiculous carrying around a life-sized cardboard cutout of Regular Jim Traber.
And then it happened.
Just a few minutes after we arrived at the Medieval Fair, and before we could even eat a Turkey leg, drink some Sarsaparilla or even buy Cardboard Jim his jester hat, we spotted a hefty figuring trudging through the food court. He was about 5' 10," portly, and had a greased-down, Barry Melrose-style hair cut. He was being followed by an entourage of woman ranging between the ages of 18 - 50.
Yes, it was really him – Regular Jim Traber.
Without hesitation, we walked towards The Man, The Myth, The Ego and asked if he would like to take a photograph with Cardboard Jim.
Perhaps fearing that this may cause the universe to collapse into itself, Regular Jim smiled, slightly raised and waved his left hand like he was telling a waitress he didn't need any more coffee, and the said something to the effect of "No thanks, fellas." He then continued his march through the food court like nothing happened. Meanwhile, everyone in his family, including the lovely Jules, tried to pick up their jaws from the trampled grass ground.
Yeah, I guess it was kind of anti-climactic. I figured that if we ever stumbled into Regular Jim at an event that he would chase us around like a Japanese pitcher or man carrying a donut. I didn't think he'd blow us off like some a bum asking for change in Bricktown.
Anyway, running into Cardboard Jim was odd, but it wasn't the weirdest thing to happen at a place that makes us obscure local social bloggers feel cool and hip. See what we're talking about and a score of other pictures from Cardboard Jim's trip to the The Medieval Fair of Norman.
These guys are a couple of Cardboard Jim's homeboys from back East. They served as CJ's bodyguards. For some reason, the guy in blue wanted to be called Mr. Norckles!
After taking a picture with these pirates, Cardboard Jim asked if they wanted to play some "Name that Tune" music trivia. They said "Arg" and walked off.
Cardboard Jim tried to the court the fair maiden on the right, but the wench on the left would have nothing to do with it.
It's always good to see Mr. Al Eschbach out and about.
We weren't too sure what these two people were supposed to be. I thought it was Link and a magical fairy. Spencer guessed Robin Hood and the baby from Willow.
This was one of a handful of Moors that Cardboard Jim encountered on his voyage. The merchant wanted to trade Jim some exotic spices, silk and that enchanted pixie hat for a box of illegal Cuban cigars and Johnsonville brats. Cardboard Jim wanted none of it.
Cardboard Jim tried to get that girl's phone number, but her boyfriend from Type-O-Negative wouldn't allow it.
Okay, this was the other weird thing that happened on our visit to Medieval Fair.
While we were walking around taking pictures, the guy above stopped us and said he had a funny story about Jim Traber. He then proceeded to tell us that his house was in the path of the tornado that hit Chickasha last May. After the storm passed through, his yard was covered with debris and trash. While cleaning up, he found a 1988 Jim Traber baseball card!
That's kind of funny, right? But know what's even funnier? He had the card in his wallet! Here's the pic:
Yep, some dude carries around in his wallet a Jim Traber baseball card that he found in his yard after a tornado hit. Only in Oklahoma.
Cardboard Jim suggested that this would be a good form of punishment for the ad geniuses that thought naming the Bricktown Ballpark after the town of Newcastle would be a good idea.
The guy on left was not amused.
Hey, My Chemical Romance was able to make it to the Medieval Fair!
Cardboard Jim wasn't sure what this guy was supposed to be, but he likes his spear. It's the same type that Regular Jim used when he caught his ex-wife.
This group invited Cardboard Jim to a good old-fashioned Dungeons and Dragon's orgy. Cardboard Jim was suffering a gout attack, though, and had to decline.
Cardboard Jim tried to attack the guy underneath the pink umbrella for being a sissy and stealing his Zorro mask. We then reminded CJ about all the Zorro masks he saw at Bob Barry Jr.'s Eyes Wide Shut party. CJ then asked why Mike Steeley was playing the piano at the party. When then told CJ to forget about it.
This guy smelled like whiskey, marijuana and body odor. Or as Cardboard Jim called it, Kyle Head.
We've brought Cardboard Jim to a bunch of different places and never has one man been so excited to discover CJ's cardboard colostomy bag.
These guys weren't sure about getting their photo taken with Cardboard Jim, but when we told them it would improve their chances of getting a job at the Apple store, they were all for it.
This guy was walking around with an elaborate stick called a fairy catcher. Just moments after we took the photo, Curtis Fitzpatrick got stuck in it.
These guys asked Cardboard Jim to speak to the Medieval Virgins Club at their high school.
These guys asked Cardboard Jim to speak to the Medieval Virgins Club at their college.
These people asked Cardboard Jim to speak at their Medieval Virgins Club Support Group at the Norman community center.
We took this picture for a couple of reasons:
1. They were the most attractive girls at the Medieval fair.
2. They actually knew about Cardboard Jim and The Lost Ogle! CJ's famous!
This guy was a Lost Ogle reader, too, but he wasn't as attractive as the girls above.
We're not sure if these guys were Lost Ogle readers, but knowing what we know about you all, I bet they are.
Anyway, that's it for this edition of the Travels of Cardboard Jim Traber. Here are some links to his other voyages:
Travels of Cardboard Jim Traber: SoonerCon 20
Travels of Cardboard Jim Traber: Ghouls Gone Wild Parade
Travels of Cardboard Jim Traber: Gay Pride Festival
Travels of Cardboard Jim Traber: Norman Music Festival
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