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10 Unwritten Rules for the “OKC City Nights” Swingers Club

5:30 AM EDT on March 13, 2012

As we mentioned yesterday, the adult arcade on 23rd was shut down by our local city government. If that upsets you, it's okay. We've found the next best thing. Oklahoma City has a Swingers Clubs called OKC City Nights. Sure, they don't have as much sex as other civic-minded organizations like the Bricktown Rotary or Oklahoma Association of Baptist Ministers, but who does? Also, think of all the quarters you'll save from not going to the sex arcade!

These are the club's rules that we found at the website. They are amusing:

1. No means No
2. No Cameras or Camera phones
3. Off premises party's
4. Absolutely No single males
5. All information about the club and its members is strictly confidential.
6. Admission is by invitation only
7. B.Y.O.B.(setups will be provided for you)
8. Must be at least 21 years old
9. No immoral or illigal activity permitted
10. We have the right to refuse admittance to anyone at anytime.

Here's the deal. Those are the club's official rules. We asked around through the Ogle Mole Network, and here are some of the unwritten ones. Remember to follow them if you ever end up at a OKC City Nights party:

1. Yes, Myron Patton shaved his mustache. Don't complain.

2. If you recognize someone from Junior's, play dumb.

3. Al Eschbach is NOT to be used as a sex toy.

4. Don't make fun of Rick Mitchell's clothing. He's sensitive to that stuff.

5. The creepy guy in the corner is the Video Vigilante. The guy with the iPhone is Wayne Coyne.

6. Bobby Barry Jr. is no longer allowed to wear his V for Vendetta Mask.

7. Please do not use the word "money." We've heard that one before.

8. If you have any janitorial needs, the guy who looked like Kenny G from Color Me Badd will be there there the clean up messes.

9. Regular Jim Traber shouts out "Cal Ripken Jr." during his vinegar strokes. Don't be alarmed, you'll get used to it.

10. Gaylord Sports Management recruits DO NOT share.

There you have it, OKC! The unspoken rules of the OKC City Nights Swingers Club! Now you can go in there with confidence, and not look like a noob!

If you would like other helpful tips for swinging in OKC, click here.

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