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The Daily O’Collegian headline writer has probably never been to a strip club

7:30 AM EST on February 1, 2012

Despite having an odd name, the OSU student run newspaper The Daily O'Collegian has been on a roll. They were the first semi-legitimate media outlet to pick up on Ralph Shortey's aborted fetuses in food bill, and now they are tackling the subject of a new strip club opening in town. Here's a screenshot of the article as it appeared in the paper:

Yeah, "Diamond in the Muff." I have no clue what the article is about because I pretty much refuse to read a university newspaper, but the headline is kind of clever. The only problem with it is that strip clubs in Oklahoma are only allowed to show topless girls. If you're at a bar where they show more, you're really not at a strip club. You're at a brothel posing as a strip club on NW 10th street or Shields and need to get the hell out of there!

That's why I think the headline was probably written by a 20-year-old college kid or a 23-year-old girl who gets jealous when her boyfriend has glitter on his face. They all seem to think that strip clubs are like what you see on the Sopranos, Varsity Blues or a rap music video. They couldn't be farther from the truth. Strip clubs are depressing. You're more likely to see stretch marks, pot bellies and sores than an attractive girl. And if the girls who dance aren't sad enough, you have to be around guys who frequent strip clubs. You know these dudes. They usually drive beat-up heavy-duty Ford pick-ups, go to gun shows and have wives named Betty, Marge or Naomi. Basically, strip clubs are more depressing than a Cocker Spaniel's funeral. That's pretty sad if you ask me.

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