In case you missed it, The Lost Ogle went black yesterday. Here’s why:
We have recently learned that Gary England has blocked us on Twitter. We are not sure what we have done to warrant such a move, but in response and as an act of repentance, The Lost Ogle will go black today. This, along with yesterday’s pilgrimage to Seiling, Oklahoma, where we sacrificed three lambs, two of Dean Blevins’ virgin interns and a replica of Mike Morgan’s severe weather tie will hopefully satisfy our Lord and Weather savior.
If you feel that Lord England should forgive The Lost Ogle for any wrongdoings, please ask him to unblock us by contacting him on Twitter via @GaryeOK.
We humbly thank you for your help in this matter.
We’ll keep you advised.
- Patrick
Well, it looks like our prayers were answered. Gary England has unblocked us on Twitter. That means we can now follow the deity of Oklahoma weathermen and get his updates on dry lines, cold fronts and Loretta’s jumping ability. We’d like to thank all the Ogle Moles who contacted Lord Gary. We’d also like to apologize to the families of those Channel 9 interns. They are now in a much better place.
Anyway, as an offering of thanks and atonement, we have written a poem in his honor called "Ode and Gary England." We will recite this every Friday night at 10:16 or whenever Gary England cuts in to regularly schedule programming to warn us of danger and disaster. Here it is:
Ode to Gary England
He was born in a barn in Seiling.
Oh what a wonderful feeling
it must have to have been to be there when the stars combined.
He will always stay up late
and monitor Mother Nature’s hate
and battle her with Val on the Gentner and Doppler radar as his guide.
He can summon Ranger Nine
and it’s always quit divine
when he rescues a deer or badger from a frozen pond.
He will never rattle or shake
when he feels a strong earthquake
and instead rescue Lois Lane like Superman did in that movie.
He gave us Friday night in the big town
and made us jump up and down
when he told us about all those terrible twisters.
Yes, Gary England is his name!
Staying with him is the aim
because we always know he’ll keep us advised.
Amen.
