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Miss Oklahoma almost won Miss America

7:00 AM EST on January 16, 2012

In Oklahoma, we spit out Miss Americas almost as much as we do country music singers and porn stars. Well, we nearly had another one.

In case you have a life and slept through it, the Miss America Pageant took place on Saturday night. Our very own ridiculously hot Miss Oklahoma, Betty Thompson, was the first runner-up and probably would have won the thing if didn't give a superficial tea party-inspired response to a question on whether or not the government should "weigh in on what we feed our kids."

Here's what she said:

"I believe that parents should be the ones who are teaching their children how to eat and then it wouldn't be the government's responsibility to step in."

Yeah, it should totally be the parent's responsibility to teach their children "how to eat." You know, because parents, especially ones in Oklahoma, make such wise decisions when it comes to food choices. That's why so many of them they are all healthy, skinny and never suffer from diabetes. If you need proof of this, just go observe any McDonald's inside a Super Wal-Mart.

Even though her answer was stupid, I still think Betty should have won the damn thing. Just look at her. She's hotter than last summer. Her measurements put Barbie to shame. If she wore an evening gown like the one below, she could totally be one of my seven dates to the 2012 Oklahoma Blog Awards:

Hell, she even looks good doing some interpretive Irish dance. Would this be a good time to mention my name is Patrick and I have my own Irish holiday??!

Anyway, maybe nude pics of Miss Wisconsin, the pageant's winner, will surface on the internet and force her to step down. If that happens, Betty would then become the 37th woman or something from the Sooner state to hold the crown. She'd also then be guaranteed a long career as an Oklahoma City TV news anchor. I could live with that.

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