Skip to Content
Politics

God, Guns and…Gravy?

2:00 AM EST on January 13, 2011

You’ve probably heard the phrase “God, Guns and Guts.”  You’ve also probably heard “Gods, Guns and Gays.”

Well, the Choctaw Road Baptist Church is taking the Three G’s to a whole new level.  Stop by the church this Saturday morning for the God, Guns and Gravy Men’s Breakfast with Oklahoma State Senator Steve Russell.

From the Central Baptist Association website:

Choctaw Road Outfitters, the Ministry to Men at Choctaw Road Baptist Church and Eastern Oklahoma County (located at the corner of Choctaw Road and Reno Avenue) is having their "God, Guns, and Gravy Men's Breakfast:

8:30 a.m.
Saturday, January 15th
Guest speaker:  Oklahoma State Senator LTC Steve Russell (Ret)

Lt Col Russell commanded the unit that served as a central player in the hunt and capture of Saddam Hussein.

Come and hear his compelling story and join others in viewing his military gun collection.  Various other gun collections will be featured as well.

Bring your gun or your entire gun or knife collection for a great time of "show and tell" fellowship and enjoy some biscuits and gravy while you're at it.

Contact Choctaw Road Baptist church at www.choctawroad.com or call 390-9002 to register your gun collection.

My favorite part about this event is that you need to call a church to register your gun or knife collection.  Nothing strange or weird about that.  In fact, I wonder how that works?  Do they give you a certificate?  Do they bless the guns?   Maybe we should prank call them later this afternoon to find out.

Also, I love the name God, Guns and Gravy.  I’m no historian, but I’d say those three things have either directly or indirectly resulted in about 60% of all human death and suffering since, oh, that whole Crusades thing happened in the Dark Ages.  I’m sure the organizers of the event never thought of that, because they were probably too busy reading the constitution or writing their local militia bylaws.

All that being said, I’d totally go to this thing if I knew whether or not they are serving hash browns.  That’s because good hash browns when combined with biscuits and gravy are totally worth the implied risk of dining with a bunch of locked and loaded conservative right-wingers in Choctaw.  Hell, I’d even bring and show off my neighbors pellet gun that he uses to shoot squirrels on the fence that then conveniently fall and die in my backyard.  I’m sure everyone would be impressed.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter