Today, Oklahomans from across the state will go to the polls and elect their next governor. The choices are two nice ladies: Republican Mary Fallin and Democrat Jari Askins.
If you are still undecided about which candidate to vote for, and want to see where they stand on important issues like their favorite weatherman or Mexican restaurant, check out the interviews we conducted earlier this year:
If those Q&As don't help, check out our six reasons why you should vote for either candidate. The reasons to vote for Jari Askins are after the jump. You can read our six for Mary Fallin by clicking here.
1. Jari Askins is loaded...with money...
Jari Askins is rich. In fact, she's loaned over $1-million to her campaign. Know what that means? It will probably be hard for local special interest groups (a.k.a.Natural Gas Industry and Oklahoma Trial Lawyers) to pay her off. That being said, I'm pretty sure that Jari gets pretty big royalty checks from local natural gas companies, and she is an attorney, so maybe these groups can then save that money and use it to "create more Oklahoma Jobs" instead. That could happen"¦right?
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2. Jari Askins is loaded...with guns...
Jari Askins is a female and a Democrat, but she reallllllly likes guns. I guess that's cool, plus it leads to number three...
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3. Jari Askins is basically a Republican...
If Jari Askins ran for Governor in any other state, she'd probably do it as a Republican. This is because she is extremely conservative. Think about it. She's pro-life, pro-gun and pro-racist. Just kidding on the last one.
I think the only reason Jari is an Oklahoma Democrat is she wants to do radical things like increase education funding. That's a big red flag for Oklahoma Republicans, because according to them, spending money on education makes you socialist, just like when you check out a book from the library or call the fire department.
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4. Jari Askins is a Virgin"¦supporter...
From what we have heard, Jari Askins is a big time Emily Virgin supporter. We have heard through the unreliable and probably inaccurate Ogle Mole network that Jari will throw lavish pool parties for Emily and her friends. She even buys them bikinis and serves them strawberry sundaes with extra whipped cream. After a while, they basically turn into a Bud Light commercial. I'm not sure why Jari would do something like that, but I would guess it's because she has big heart...or short hair.
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5. Jari Askins has worked in all three levels of government...
Jari has been a state legislator, judge and Lt. Governor. The first two titles are kind of impressive, but Lt. Governor may be the least important position in the State. All you do is go to groundbreakings and take pictures with people. And know how much it pays? $85,000. I don't know about you, but that sounds like a pretty kick ass job! I should probably run for it.
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6. Jari Askins may be related to Mike Turpin:
Ok, I'm not sure if this is a reason to vote for Jari Askins, but have you ever noticed that she and local political pundit Mike Turpin look way too much alike? I wonder what they did when the first met each other. Did they each call their mother to find out if they had a twin who was separated at birth? Or did they just go home and cry?
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BONUS REASON! Jari Askins is not Mary Fallin. Yes, we are endorsing Jari Askins to be our state's next governor. In other news, the sky is blue, polar bears are white, and Clark Matthews plays checkers.
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And if you didn't check it out, click here to read six reasons why you may want to vote for Mary Fallin.
