The Ogle in-box was been flooded yesterday with the news that an Arizona inmate uttered "Boomer Sooner" as his last words while he was being executed on Tuesday night. From our state's most trusted (sigh) news:
Arizona has executed former Oklahoman Jeffrey Landrigan for a 1989 murder in the state's first execution since 2007. Landrigan died by injection at a state prison in Florence at 10:26 p.m. Tuesday after a stay issued by a federal judge was lifted by the U.S. Supreme Court....
Landrigan, who acknowledged his home state of Oklahoma in his last words, had been on death row since his 1990 conviction for murdering Chester Dyer of Phoenix in a killing that prosecutors said was part of a robbery.
"Well, I'd like to say thank you to my family for being here and all my friends, and Boomer Sooner," he said, in an apparent reference to the University of Oklahoma fight song.
Know what's really bizarre about this story? Allegedly, the guy said "Boomer Sooner" during the National Anthem. Now that's pretty disrespectful. I wonder what Berry Tramel is going to write about that. Also, how much do you want to bet that David Boren and Bob Stoops are recording videos right now that implore death row inmates to be respectful about the execution process.
In all seriousness, I'm not sure what to think about someone saying "Boomer Sooner" as their last words before they are executed. It's weird. I probably would have said something classy like "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done" or "Luke, there is another Sky.....wal......keeeeer."
Anyway, this story got me thinking of some more typical last words you might hear someone from Oklahoma say. The first few are below, the rest are after the jump:
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"Is this 10th street?"
I think Chris Rock once told a joke that if you're ever on a road called Martin Luther King, you're in the wrong part of town. He could say the same for 10th street in Oklahoma city.
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"Quick! Turn it to Gary England."
If you ever hear somebody say that, just do yourself a favor and either go underground or take your tornado per'cautions.
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"Why yes, I would like some extra gravy."
I'm sure someone has muttered this at some restaurant, at some time, in Oklahoma. I'm sure they died a few hours later.
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"So I just stick my arm in this hole and the catfish will bite it?"
How did this sport get the name "Noodling." I think it should be called "Natural Selection."
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"Hey, have you heard the new Hinder CD?"
Just ask some of the prisoners in Iraq. Bad music kills.
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"Let's get drunk and go skinny dip in the Oklahoma River!"
The Oklahoma River has more bacteria in it than the bathroom at the Conservatory.
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"This band rocks! I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick."
See above.
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"Take the Crosstown Bridge. It's faster."
Whenever I drive across the Crosstown Bridge, I turn into Christopher Walken from Deer Hunter.
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"No, Mr. Traber, I'm not a real hot dog. This is just a Halloween costume."
Hey, Jim Traber likes to eat.
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"Hey, let's try to fill these balloons with pure, clean and efficient Natural Gas."
In general, that's just a bad idea. Not only will static from the balloons make the gas explode, but natural gas doesn't float as well as helium.
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"I can't believe we're lost in rural Oklahoma. Let's stop by the run-down little house at the end of the gravely road with empty Sudafed bottles littered across the lawn and ask for directions."
I hate to tell you this, but those people probably don't have sinus infections.
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"See the handsome gray haired blogger over there? I'm going to go fight him."
Hey, I'm going to go ahead and milk this story for all it's worth.
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"I think we are getting closer to Bobo's."
If you don't get shot before or after, the triple fried honey chicken may do you in.
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"Have you seen my gardening clogs? I'm going to go to the store before the blizzard gets any stronger."
Now that Jonathan Conder is no longer here to rescue us, winter weather season is even more deadly.
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Ashlynn, I think I should probably tell you this first, but I am a virgin.
At least that would be a cool way to die.
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Anyway, that's our list. If you have any others, post them in the comments. Also, that earlier statement about the national anthem is not very true, but it would be cool if it was. Regardless, I bet Stoops and Boren still record videos.
