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Worst of OKC: Worst Douche Bag Hangout

8:00 PM EDT on August 14, 2008

Fun fact: Did you know that a douche bag can live for one week without its head? Seriously. The average douche bag has six brains throughout its body, so it can fully function after its head is removed. It just will eventually dehydrate and starve to death after about 5 -7 days.

Actually, I'm totally joking about that. If you cut the head off a Douche Bag, they will die instantly. So if you plan on doing that, I would recommend that you go to one of the five places after the jump.

Aspen Athletic Club
This gym has a location at Penn Square Mall. Yes, Penn Square Mall. I guess this is convenient for the d-bags, because after pumping iron they can go buy those cheesy Affliction tshirts.

Café Nova
It has been well documented on this site that Café Nova was founded by Oklahoma City's "King of the Douche Bags" John Paul Merritt. It is also well documented that he allegedly no longer has an ownership interest and has fled Oklahoma City for Dallas. All that being said, each weekend night scores of Oklahoma City douche's flock to Café Nova to pay homage to their exiled leader (or to at least look at all the money hungry hot girls in sun dresses).

Duncan Brothers
To be a Douche Bag, you have to pay a lot of money for an average hair cut. You also have to be able to get the finest, stickiest hair products available. Duncan Brothers offers all of this and more.

Rok Bar
Any club in Bricktown can qualify as a douche bag hang out, but by judging its MySpace page photo galleries, Rok Bar seems to be the most popular destination. :

Russell's
Russell's features all the 40-year-old Douche Bags who buy young girls and old women drinks and brag about the time they got "so wasted" at the Yucatan Liquor Stand in 1992.

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