The kiddos may not remember it -- I barely do myself -- but there used to be a guy named Bill Simonson who had a radio show in the Oklahoma City market. He made Jim Traber look humble. I mean, he actually called himself "Captain Huge." It takes some world-class levels of self-loathing to be the kind of jerk this guy was. I was in, like, the 6th grade and could tell this guy had some serious issues. If ever there was a person who needed a hug from Angi Bruss, it was Bill Simonson.
Anyway, he never really caught on here, thank Gary England, and eventually moved on to Tulsa, where he ended up getting fired for making racist statements about John Blake. From there he moved on to Chicago, where he got beat up outside of Comiskey Park, and then I lost track of him...
...until a few weeks ago, when I heard him on a syndicated Sunday program on the Sports Animal. I almost drove off the road. The ghost of my childhood had returned, and hours with my shrink were needed to repair the damage. It was almost as traumatic as the time Mike Morgan showed up at my house in full Star Trek regalia, but that's another story for another therapy session.