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Fun With MySpace

8:38 AM EDT on July 10, 2007

All the cool kidz have MySpace pages these days. It's a good way to communicate with friends, find new musical artists, and watch perverted old men hit on teenage girls.

Many well-known locals have MySpace pages, and here's an analysis of three of them:

Rhett Bomar

Personal Quote: "always try your best"

Number of Friends: 132

Featured Song: "Six," by All That Remains

Bomar's page is, frankly, not very revealing. We learn very little about the guy who used to quarterback the Oklahoma Sooners. In his "Who I'd Like To Meet" section, Bomar succinctly says: "a lot of people." His favorite music? "A lot of just about everything." Favorite movies? "Comedys, dramas, chick flicks, and more." An easy to please guy, I guess.

There was one revealing tidbit, and that is that his "income level" is listed as "$250,000 and higher." I guess the car dealerships at Sam Houston State pay better than those in Norman! If I ever move to Huntsville, Texas, I need to be sure to get a job at Big Orange Sports and Imports, or whatever it's called.

Strangely, Bomar features this picture on his MySpace page:

Brad Henry

Personal Quote: "Proud Governor of Oklahoma"

Number of Friends: 32

Featured Song: "Boomer Sooner," by the Pride of Oklahoma

Amazingly, Governor Henry's MySpace page is even less informative than Bomar's, though I'd like to believe that's because he's been working on the business of Oklahoma as opposed to drinking beer at Hornets games and collecting money for work he didn't do.

He doesn't even take the time to answer questions such as his favorite music and favorite movies, and his friends list is indicative of his extremely moderate nature. It's full of presidential candidates from both sides of the aisle, from John McCain to John Edwards, and the top spot is given to extreme right-wing representative Duncan Hunter.

Lump

Personal Quote: "Proud American"

Number of Friends: 217

Featured Song: None

Unlike Bomar and Governor Henry, Sports Animal host Lump clearly spends a lot of time maintaining his MySpace page. It looks sharp, has a long paragraph describing himself, and he even blogs from time to time. Interestingly, he reveals that he's wanted to be a "radio superstar" since he was 13 years old, and then goes on to say, "Now that I'm there..." At first I thought that Lump had the broadest definition of the word "superstar" that I've heard in my entire life, but then I noticed his income level. Like Bomar, it's $250,000 and Higher." Is it possible that Lump really is a radio superstar? And if so, what would that mean for the world? Wouldn't that be an indication that the apocalypse is indeed upon us? I'm thinking that income level is a typo. I hope Lump makes a really good living for himself, but if anyone on the Sports Animal makes that much money, there is something seriously wrong with the world.

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