Halloween is just around the corner, and Oklahoma gives us plenty of inspiration this year. We’ve got 10 costume ideas to help you confuse the neighbors, win the contest, or get forcibly removed by HR.
All you need is a trip to Goodwill and a little creativity to pull off any of these Oklahoma originals.
Sara Polston
Admittedly, I don’t know where to get a uniform from any of the jails she’s been in this year – or where to get an ankle monitor. But, to make a fake one, I recommend grabbing a toy walkie-talkie and attaching it to a watch band. Put that on your ankle, and wear an “I Voted” sticker. To really sell the costume, though, you’re going to have to get rip-roaring drunk and be a danger to everyone around you.
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Count Jena Nelson
This one is easy! Just hit up Spirit Halloween and get a vampire makeup kit. Wear that along with a nice blue dress – or flannel – and tell everyone you have a chance to win the race!
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A Paycom Bed Bug
While it would not be funny to keep coming to work in an office your company knew was infested with bed bugs, it would be funny to make a Paycom bed bug costume. Dress in that obnoxious green color, and grab one of the approximately seven billion Paycom shirts that fill the racks of the local Goodwill stores. Make some green antennae with a headband and pipe cleaners, and you’re good to go!
Bonus points if your prop is an emotional bully in a singlet.
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News 9 Peeping Tom
Get yourself a scraggly wig and beard, then toss it in the backseat of your car for a week or so to make sure it gets really, really gross. Bug out your eyes and carry a camera around with you. Set it up in places around the Halloween party where people really don’t want to be filmed, just like the News 9 peeping tom.
Bonus points for a News 9 shirt from Goodwill – with all their recent departures, there's sure to be a dedicated rack.
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The Ghost of the Turner Turnpike Vagina
All you need for this costume is a sheet over your head, ghost-style, and some skillfully placed Hot Wheels tracks taped to the front of it. This is the send-off the Turner Turnpike vagina deserves.
If you really want to sell the Turner Turnpike idea, get creative and pin a picture of a toll booth on one end of your costume and a McDonald’s sign on the other.
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Frankenogle
A TLO Classic, simply dress up as Kevin Ogle dressed up like Frankenstein. It'll be a hit!
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Battered Brent Swadley
Every big-box store has an inmate costume this time of year. Grab an orange jumpsuit, some black eye shadow, and fake blood. Use the eyeshadow to make it look like you have some black eyes, and put some spatters of fake blood under your nose. You’re a battered Brent Swadley!
For bonus points, show up to the Halloween party carrying a tray of BBQ. But if you don’t want to get beaten up in real life, you should get that brisket from anywhere but Swadley’s.
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The Gold Dome
If you’re not great at making costumes, that’s okay. The Gold Dome is probably structurally unsound too, so you’ll be making a very accurate costume here. Create a papier mache dome by gluing strips of paper over half a balloon. When it’s dry, remove the balloon, and paint it gold. Wear this as a hat, and put a for-sale sign on your shirt. Take the for-sale sign off and on at odd intervals through the evening, and keep sharing new and exciting plans for what you’ll be, only to put the for-sale sign up again.
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An Oklahoma Voter
You’d think it would not be very fun to spend an entire evening making choices that don’t serve you, but the average Oklahoma voter does this every election. Surely you can do this for one Halloween party. All you have to do is wear a red hat and walk around the party demanding to see birth certificates from everyone seeking handouts of margaritas and seven-layer dip.
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Louis Fowler
Only the chilliest of dudes can pull this one off. You need a t-shirt, a plaid flannel and a pair of jeans. Then, you have to go to a small, locally owned restaurant and enjoy a delightful meal. From there, you need to hit up a local record shop or a swap meet. Purchase something super cool, and then write about it.
Bonus points if you wear this getup to the Bricktown Haunted Warehouse this year and somehow manage not to pee your pants.
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What are you going to be this Halloween? I'll probably dress up as an OKC mom...
