The party of hypocrisy and projection strikes again!
Last week, I was at home minding my own business when a high-level Mole reached out with a fun news tip.
Apparently, someone was shopping a story to the press that Jackson Lahmeyer – the ultra right-wing, Trump-endorsed pastor running for Congress up in Tulsa – was having an affair of sorts, and they were curious if we’d like to buy it.
Check this out, and try to ignore the Mole’s poor spelling and typos.
Although tempting, I had to pass on the Mole’s offer. We don’t pay for news tips because A) we’re semi-ethical and B) we can’t afford to. The Daily Mail, on the other hand, apparently had no issue forking over some cash.
Last night, they published behind their paywall an exposé that showed Jackson Lahmeyer was desperately trying to woo a former Miss Oklahoma by the name of Caitlin Simmons Key into a steamy affair.
The general gist is Jackson fell for Key – a MAGA-hot influencer who worked as his fundraiser – and tried to woo her with pics, texts and stories about his life on the campaign trail, which apparently included such pastoral behavior as hanging out with cokeheads at strip clubs outside Mar-a-Lago.
For example:
Yikes. “Gotta be careful is what I’ve learned” is a wild thing to text after describing a night that sounds like a deleted scene from The Wolf of Mar-a-Lago. In other news, Mar-a-Lago sounds like a fun place. No wonder the President spends so much time there!
According to the Mail, I guess Jackson’s wife – better known to his five kids as “Mom” – went snooping through his phone, found the texts, and then from her phone, sent Caitlin some very mean angry-wife texts over it.
Yep, she went full Real Housewives of Oral Roberts University on her and called Miss Oklahoma a whore. That’s kind of funny.
After the Daily Mail piece dropped, Lahmeyer rushed over to Twitter to do what all guilty-looking politicians do best – claim the story is distorted, blame the timing, and insist everything has already been handled through prayer:
For a damage-control-ish non-apology, it’s honestly not too bad. It definitely captures the hypocritical beauty of right-wing Christian nationalism. When other people screw up, it’s sin, moral decay and proof America needs Jesus. When you do it, it’s a distorted story, bad timing and a private matter that’s already been handled by the Lord.
Anyway, if you want to pay to read the whole Daily Mail piece like I did, you can do that here. The publication goes into the damage control that Jackson and Caitlin conducted to appease the angry wife. If you’re into that soap opera stuff, have at it.
In the meantime, I guess the takeaways are that:
A) Jackson Lahmeyer is just another right-wing Christian nationalist hypocrite who, despite all his preaching, pandering and self-righteous moral posturing, is a sucker for hot chicks with killer bodies.
B) People think we have the money to pay for stories. Like having a creepy politician try to woo you while taking a bath, I guess that’s kind of flattering.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
