I love Oklahoma, but, truthfully, there are times when parts of it can be too much... for example, Kevin Stitt. Ugh.
Whenever I feel this way, I tell the boss I’m checking out, cashing in some frequent flyer miles, and traveling to another place and time. And, with a looming David Byrne concert on the horizon, my wife and I took two tickets to paradise or, as it’s commonly referred to, Baltimore.
Nicknamed Charm City by the locals, Baltimore is one of my favorite places I’ve ever visited. Much like an Oklahoma City Tulsa-by-the-sea, it’s a world of wild characters, expressive art, endless things to do and, most importantly for my line of work, all the seafood dishes our landlocked home simply cannot offer.
Sure, I was going to Baltimore to cash in my Christmas gift from my adoring wife – tickets to see David Byrne on his Who Is the Sky? tour – but I also had four or five days of good eating to fill. From the city’s endless crab supply and other trials and tribulations of taste to some of the sights and sounds around town, here’s the absolute rundown…
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James Joyce Irish Pub & Restaurant (616 President Street)
On the first day of our Baltimore excursion, I met up with my good friend, writer Dan Taylor, the publisher of the seminal Hungover Gourmet, Baltimore’s journal of “food, drink, travel and fun.” If you know the magazine—and you should—you know his recommendations will definitely be tops.
Having a brother in Ponca City, he has seen the culinary side of Oklahoma few northerners do. But I wanted a Baltimore staple, the delicacy of true crab cakes and, well, he was more than ready to supply them.
We met at the Irish pub dedicated to writer James Joyce and had the Maryland Style Blue Crab Cakes ($30.00). Aided by fries, fresh cucumber salad, and a chili remoulade, it was the first and best of all my meals. Expertly plated and lavishly eaten, as I bit into the sweet blue crab cake, with the remoulade it was worth the cross-country trip.
(Hat-tip to The Hungover Gourmet!)
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Italian Disco (1006 Fleet Street)
With my wife headed to a comedy show with her college friend Amanda and her friends, I had ample opportunity to explore. Only a few minutes from my hotel, I walked up the street to find the less-than-swarthy Italian Disco, 1006 Fleet St., a pizzeria and bar.
Sure, I thought it was going to be a sweaty, sexy, polyester-clad good time, but it was actually a very simple, very moderate pizza place that seemed more like a low-down hangout than a simple pizza place, with famed Italian chef Julian Marucci as our guide.
Excluding the pizzas and the sandwiches, I wanted something different. Looking at the small selection of premium pastas, I went with the Cacio e Pepe ($13.00 for a half-order). It’s a creamy pasta with bucatini, black pepper, and pecorino that, to be honest, was pretty good. It was a perfectly suitable dinner for one.
The next day, I did some shopping at Celebrated Summer Records and the much-celebrated Atomic Books, picking up all the zines, books, and autographed John Waters merchandise they had.
That being said, it was on a short jaunt to Washington D.C—the NEW home of Markwayne Mullin, bringing OK-flavored white trash to our nation’s capital—to discover Smash! Records (2314 18th St. NW Washington, DC), and all their amazing deals. I got the Phantom of the Paradise soundtrack for $20 bucks!
Blue Moon Too (1621 Aliceanna Street)
The next day, my wife and I met up with one of her other college friends and her family in the real artsy section of Baltimore. A total blind dining experience, we discovered Blue Moon Too, a real neighborhood restaurant with a total indie-rock vibe that we had to try.
With paintings of Iggy Pop and other outré guides to alternative culture adorning the walls, as they were talking about the American Visionary Art Museum and their lifelike statue of Divine, I got to be honest… I was swooning over the Sweet Baby Jesus ($30.00).
Still on my kick with the sheer proximity to Baltimore’s crabs, this sacrosanct surprise had extra crispy hash browns topped with pure lump crab seasoned with Old Bay, fresh diced tomatoes, melty cheddar cheese, eggs fried over medium, then smothered in hollandaise.
To be sure, this was the true breakfast of champions!
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Taqueria La Patrona (101 W. Lexington Street)
Now, to be fair, I was on the fence about Baltimore’s ability to actually do Mexican food. Thankfully, on the way to see David Byrne perform, this theorem was tested in this little taqueria near the venue, Taqueria La Patrona.
Though it was in the big bad city of Baltimore, it had all the southside Oklahoma City charm I have come to love, right down to the Hobby Lobby decorations of anthropomorphic jalapenos. But what about the taste?
We shared a Torta de Bistec, or a Steak Torta ($14.00), with seared steak on a Mexican roll with beans, onions, lettuce, and tomatoes. While not the best torta I have ever had, it did prove that up north they can still scratch that itch for good Mexican eats.
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On the last night of our trip, we finally arrived at our destination: seeing David Byrne perform at the Hippodrome Theatre. Huge fans of Byrne—“This Must Be the Place” was our wedding song, mind you—it was one of the best concerts I have ever experienced, and I'll be chasing that dragon for the foreseeable future.
But, with that, the next morning we boarded our plane back to Oklahoma City where, unfortunately, it was cold and wet. Though our sunny memories will sustain us until the next time I get the travel bug, this trip to Baltimore was the real deal. Good on you, Charm City!
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Follow Louis Fowler on Instagram at @louisfowler78.
