Even though Oklahoma doesn’t have, hasn’t had, and will never have a problem with porn and smut making its way into public school libraries, right-wing evangelical lawmakers keep doing their best to fight the nonexistent issue.
Earlier this week, lawmakers orally debated HB 2978 on the House floor. A piece of legislation that serves no real purpose, it would define and ban “sexually explicit content” – from second base to third base and all the way home – from public school libraries.
Although nobody wants sexually explicit material in public school libraries, the bill goes overboard because – by defining what constitutes sexually explicit content – it effectively erases context and literary value as determining factors in what is and isn’t considered “sexually explicit.”
That’s a problem because many great works of literature could technically be considered to contain sexually explicit content – from The Handmaid’s Tale to The Color Purple to the one book every Republican apparently wants in the classroom: the Bible.
Hunky lawmaker Mickey “Heartbreaker” Dollens noticed this.
He stopped messaging on Hinge long enough to specifically ask if Ezekiel 23:20 – the part where the Bible talks about donkey dicks and horse semen – would be considered sexually explicit. Here’s the video:
State Rep Mickey Dollens (@MickeyDollens) quoted Ezekiel 23:20, the part in the bible that mentions donkey dicks and horse emissions. pic.twitter.com/Bff8nrcW7j
— The Lost Ogle (@TheLostOgle) March 11, 2026
You know what, if the whole lawmaker thing doesn’t work out, Mickey should get a job reading romance novels. The smooth, suave way he described donkey dick was very well done!
On the topic of donkey dicks, lawmaker Chris Banning – a co-author of the bill – didn’t really have a good response for Dollens. The same goes for when State Rep. Andy Fugate – the guy who looks like every community college history teacher – asked if the part about Adam and Eve getting it on would count.
State Rep Andy Fugate (@afugate) talked about that part where Adam and Eve get it on in their garden. pic.twitter.com/fNEVPqtkrM
— The Lost Ogle (@TheLostOgle) March 11, 2026
It wasn’t just the handsome jocks and the nerds they picked on in high school who noticed the Bible has its fair share of smut. Rep. John Waldron creepily walked up to the mic and started talking about sodomy:
And State Rep. John Waldron took the mic to walk everyone through a little biblical history lesson on sodomy. pic.twitter.com/fFDqg3ePCz
— The Lost Ogle (@TheLostOgle) March 11, 2026
Yikes. I know everyone has their kink, but out of all the dirty stuff in the Bible, did he really have to go after sodomy? Like, wasn’t Lot and his daughters a better example?
While the men took their minds down the biblical gutter and pointed out that what constitutes age-appropriate sexually explicit material is more subjective and contextual than people think, their female counterparts showed how poorly thought out the bill was:
While the men debated biblical erotica, the women pointed out the bill’s poorly thought-out flaws and how it could actualy affect school libraries. pic.twitter.com/XEmtu2LFZ5
— The Lost Ogle (@TheLostOgle) March 11, 2026
That’s cool. It’s nice to see people who actually know how public school libraries work share critical feedback on a bill that should be addressed and considered. It’s too bad they probably won’t be.
Anyway, if you’re bored, you can watch the entire debate on the House website. Now that the bill has cleared the House, I guess it heads to the Senate, where it will probably pass, and then to the governor’s office, where it will probably be signed. Once all that happens, the public school book burnings can’t be too far behind, right?
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