Oklahoma lawmakers are once again focused on the important things that matter…
Apparently grown tired of tweaking Oklahoma's marijuana laws, State Representative Scott Fetgatter – not to be confused with Scoot Fatgetter, which is the name of my OnlyFans burner account – recently introduced legislation that would extend the Oklahoma black bear hunting season.
Because, you know, nothing is more important than making sure Oklahomans have more time to kill a peaceful, docile, rarely seen animal. Or as Fetgatter would describe it, a dangerous bloodthirsty monster:
A bill that would expand the black bear hunting season in Oklahoma passed a key committee on Wednesday.
HB 4128, a bill by Rep. Scott Fetgatter (R-Okmulgee), would expand black bear hunting season by a few weeks. Right now, the season only lasts 18 days in the fall.
"We look at bears as cute, cuddly little animals that we can sleep at night with, but the reality of it is they are very dangerous," Rep. Fetgatter said. "There was a gentleman killed just across the state line in Arkansas last year."
First of all, I’d like to hear the bear’s side of the story before passing any judgement on what went down in Arkansas. Second, people view bears as cute, cuddly animals? Outside of pop culture and social media, where would we ever get that idea, boo-boo?
In all seriousness, I know black bears can be dangerous if provoked or encountered under an unfortunate circumstance, but the odds of either happening are minimal. They're like spiders – more scared of us than we are them. There’s never even been a reported attack in Oklahoma.
Then again, like any of that matters. We're the same state that once tried to open. hunting season for a creature that doesn't event exist, so of course they're for expanding bear hunting.
Naturally, Scott's proposal has caused an up ROAAAR amongst activists. WildCare Oklahoma issued a response in opposition to that bill:
In addition to WildCare, Channel 9 found a primitive bear hunter – as opposed to a sophisticated one – who was against it:
Primitive bear hunter Caleb Flies says he’s been researching as well, talking with wildlife biologists in Oklahoma and Arkansas. He fears bumping up the date would lead to overharvesting, which he says could cause damage to the bear population that would take years to repair.
“It’s pretty bad when the bear hunters are coming out and saying, no, this is too liberal. This would make it really easy for me to kill a bear for a year or two. And then it would decimate our population,” said Caleb Flies. “I’ve got a daughter. I’m about to have a son. I want them to be able to enjoy this. And, just like Theodore Roosevelt said, you know, our job is to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people. And so that’s what conservation is. And making it really easy to kill a bear for a year or two is very shortsighted. That’s the opposite of conservation. We’ve already been down that road with market hunting.”
It’s not just people who like to both save and hunt animals that are against the measure. Other lawmakers who are opposed to it, and wondering why we’re not killing different animals instead:
The other old dude brings up a good question. Why is Fetgatter going after bears and not pigs? Did a bear once steal his picnic basket at Beavers Bend? Was he traumatized by porridge as a kid? Does he want to protect that state's emergency bacon supply? Inquiring minds want to know?!
Anyway, despite the concerns about killing too many bears, the bill sailed through a House committee by a 13-2 vote. If it clears the House and Senate and lands on Governor Stitt’s desk, well, I have bad news for all the bears out there.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
