Oklahoma Lawmakers Want To Regulate Strippers…

At the rate things are going, you’ll soon need a VPN to go inside an Oklahoma strip club!

Over the past month, a pair of bills that would saddle Oklahoma’s adult entertainment industry with fresh layers of regulation and red tape have been winding their way through the Capitol.

Authored by Stan May and Warren Hamilton – two men who look like they’ve folded plenty of $1 bills in their day – the proposals would raise the minimum stripping age from 18 to 21, require dancers to obtain state licenses through the ABLE Commission, and mandate proof of citizenship or legal residency.

KOKH’s Wendy Suares has a video breakdown below:

Wow. Look at Wendy making it rain there! Kudos to her for keeping a borderline straight face while explaining the “stiff penalties” dancers could face if they violate the law. She’s definitely a pro.

I know Oklahoma lawmakers are hypocritical moralist crusaders who love to pick on the weak and powerless while trying to control what other people do with their lives – and burdening dancers with regulations is a good way to do exactly that – but don’t these proposals go a little too far?

I guess I’m fine raising the minimum stripping age to 21 (but only if there’s a max age of 30), but strip clubs are one of the last truly free vestiges on this earth – the rare black-lit places where you can escape the daily wrath of judgment, surveillance, and – at least for now – paperwork, and still get to see boobs at the end. I’d hate to see that ruined by self-righteous lawmakers.

“Whatever, Patrick. You’re just a sick pervert.”

As the former celebrity judge of the Miss Night Trips Pole Olympics, I agree with you – but there are plenty of legit reasons to oppose these bills.

First of all, do we really want to give the ABLE Commission more work to do? Ask any bartender, server, or business waiting on a liquor license – that agency already has enough on its plate. The last thing we need is agents storming strip clubs at 12:30 a.m. to make sure Destiny has the proper paperwork.

Second, despite what they claim, the bills do nothing to improve dancer safety. If anything, they risk doing the opposite by pushing some performers out of licensed clubs and into, uh, less regulated corners of the economy.

But, naturally, I really doubt lawmakers care about any of that.

Once again, the point of these bills isn’t to regulate an industry that actually needs oversight – it’s to slap drastic restrictions on something they personally don’t approve of and let bureaucracy take it down. Instead of going after traffickers or sketchy club owners directly, they’re piling licensing requirements, age limits, and criminal penalties onto dancers themselves, then pretending it’s all about “safety.”

Anyway, like a new stripper at a club, I guess we’ll keep our eyes on these bills as they make their way through the rotation and keep you updated. Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.