Well, I know one guy who won’t be visiting Oklahoma anytime soon!
Last Friday, AG Gentner Drummond announced the state has filed a misdemeanor charge against a Massachusetts man named Owen Cunningham for allegedly posing as Ryan Walters back in August 2024.
Remember that fiasco?
Back when Ryan was trying to put Trump Bibles in Oklahoma schools, Cunningham allegedly sent superintendents a “forged” Walters letter instructing districts to distribute a homemade Bible fan fiction manifesto – packed with pseudo-scriptural ramblings and end-times energy – that read like the rantings of a deranged madman.
In a normal world, the letter would have been instantly recognizable as a hoax, prank or the work of man in need of lithium, but with Walters also being a chaos agent who thrives on attention, school leaders and the media weren’t so sure.
A day or two later, the hoax was confirmed as that, a hoax, Ryan Walters blamed George Soros, and we all went back to doing whatever we were doing.
Well, except the state of Oklahoma.
Somewhat absurdly, they overreacted and OSBI launched a full investigation. After tracking fingerprints and scanning license plates and clearing, Owen – a man with a pretty lengthy rap sheet – was eventually pinned down as the perp.
Via The Oklahoman:
Man accused of impersonating Ryan Walters, sending fake Bible materials to schools
Oklahoma's multicounty grand jury has accused a Massachusetts man in a misdemeanor indictment of impersonating Ryan Walters in letters to state school superintendents in 2024.
Grand jurors returned the indictment against Owen Thomas Cunningham, 48, on Feb. 12. The misdemeanor – false personation of a public officer – carries a maximum punishment of six months in jail and a $2,000 fine…
Yikes. Impersonating a public officer can score you six months in jail and a $2,000 fine?! I had no clue!
In other news, do any tech wizards out there know how to fully delete something from WordPress archives? Asking for a friend.
In all seriousness, outside of our satirical post being funnier, more accessible, and not requiring a truckload of printer ink and postage stamps, what’s the actual difference between our post above and Cunningham’s letter stunt?
They’re both obviously satirical hoaxes designed to mock a public official and poke fun at his hypocrisy and ideology. If the state’s going to waste all this time and resources tracking him down, shouldn’t they be giving us the same honor!
“Patrick. Are you calling for Gentner Drummond and a grand jury to indict you?”
Although it would be good for our brand, not exactly.
I’m just saying it feels like way too much time an attention is being spend on some dude from Massachusetts who mailed out some Bible fan fiction. It's not like he's going to be extradited over this. Instead of firing up the multi-county grand jury machine over obvious parody, maybe they should reserve that energy for, I don’t know, actual fraud and corruption.
Anyway, you can read more about Owen, his criminal record and more about the case at The Oklahoman or Yawn Doc. In the meantime, I’m going to hit up my attorneys to prepare for our indictment.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
