Last night, for the 200th time this month, someone asked me what I thought about the Charles McCall crazed banana slicer ads that have everyone talking and/or gagging. My response was the same:
“Well, here we are talking about it.”
Although you can’t blame the ad’s effectiveness in introducing McCall as the unwoke psycho to watch in the gubernatorial campaign — a position he’ll likely hold until Gentner drops smart bombs into pineapples that eerily resemble McCall’s large, narrow, slicked-back head — I actually think it could have been way better.
As I’ve noted in the past, McCall is a boring man, and the “Here in Derplahoma we don’t cut no ba’nanner and call it an orange” concept is, fruit-wise, about as boring as you can get.
It’s literally the lowest-hanging fruit!
That’s why, before the fruit metaphor salad goes bad, I wanted to take a look at other botanical sugar pods he can use as metaphors to follow up the banana slice.
For example, instead of the banana-and-orange act, he could stand in the kitchen and slice a peach and say:
“Pitting this peach does not make it a jackfruit.”
Then again, he could go the opposite direction and say:
“Chopping this jackfruit doesn’t make it a peach.”
Of course, most Oklahomans don’t even know what jackfruit is, so maybe that’s a bad idea.
You may notice in the jackfruit pic that McCall is using a machete. I switched that up to make him look more masculine.
That’s another issue with the crazed banana slicer ad — who uses a cleaver to cut a banana?
Use a blade a real-life Oklahoman would use, not something from The Pioneer Woman's kitchen. You know, like the kind you can win during a ring-toss game on the State Fair midway.
Oh yeah — that’s the ad where McCall talks about how “losing a plum don’t make you a cherry.” That would be a big winner! You have to admit, it’s a lot cooler with the military knife.
McCall could also do an ad that honors the state vegetable — the watermelon.
For example, he could be cutting a slice of watermelon and say something like, “Just because you swallow the seed don’t make you a melon.” And, well…
Oh yeah — I also thought it would be better if he wore traditional, non-woke Oklahoma clothes and used the dining saw from the garage — a.k.a. the nice cutlery — to slice it up.
Anyway…
These are just my ideas to make his next ad better and generate a little more attention. If you have better ideas, play around with ChatGPT and let us know in the comments.
