Before I write anything else today, I want to both apologize and say “You’re Welcome” for the latest batch of Charles McCall for Governor campaign ads making the heavy rotation on right-wing cable news.
When McCall first announced his gubernatorial campaign, I noted that he did so in the most boring and unimaginative ways possible – an uninspired press release and social media post that reinforced his stereotype as your classic boring stiff banker. Where was the press conference, photo ops, and beef burgers? This guy didn’t seem to have a chance!
Well, once again, I apologize.
I guess my critique of McCall as a boring stiff who makes Cardboard Jim Traber look alive and flexible really registered with political advisors.
In a bold attempt to outrage the liberal echo chamber while simultaneously stealing support from the loonies who liked the Ryan Walters crowd, he released an ad where he used a banana as a symbolic metaphor for a penis – stating, accurately, that just because you cut it in half, it doesn’t magically become an orange.
Check this out!
Hey, the guy has a point. Even though it’s a flawed, offensive metaphor and doesn’t accurately portray gender reassignment surgery, if you cut a banana in half, it doesn’t magically become an orange – just like how cutting a hot dog in half doesn’t turn it into a breakfast sausage!
That being said, although I can appreciate and understand the desperate approach McCall and his team are taking – they need to make him relatable to the right-wing base, and making silly little peewee jokes about “woke” culture-war issues like gender is one way to do it – I just ask that they make McCall look a little less like a serial killer.
Seriously. How many bodies are hidden in this guy’s bank vault? I’m staying away from his fruit salad at the church potluck.
Anyway, it will be interesting to see if the new ads have any effect on the Governor’s race.
Gentner and Charles are both white, both conservative, both educated, both wealthy, and both bankers. The only difference is that one is a fan of Pioneer Women’s Mercantile, while the other prefers Reba’s, so whoever is able to get down and dirty enough to appeal to the mouthbreather crowd will probably win this thing.
That kind of makes me wonder what culture-war issue Gentner will latch onto during the campaign, and how he’ll exploit it.
For example, I could see him – a former fighter pilot – releasing some high-tech ad where he flies around in an F-16 taking out liberal boogeymen and Democrats.
You know, something like Top Gun, where he swoops in and drops a bomb on black-market marijuana farms, liberal activist judges, and drag shows at a public park.
The only thing I know for sure is that when I turn on the TV and see Gentner standing in a kitchen holding a knife and a peach, I’m promptly changing the channel.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
