TLO Endorsement: Paul “Big Tex” Bondar for US Congress

Here at The Lost Ogle, we have a strong and storied history of endorsing the worst possible candidates running for office. So, it should come as no surprise that we’re joining Ryan Walters, Matt Langston, and any other person driving around the state with Texas plates in endorsing Paul “Big Tex” Bondar for US Congress.

For what it’s worth, endorsing Paul is all the rage at the moment, especially if you also have no chance to defeat a generally well-regarded and liked Republican incumbent.

For example, the other fringe candidates running for the seat have said that if they didn't exist, they’d go with the Texan by way of Illinois and Wisconsin over Cole for Oklahoma’s 4th Congressional District.

Sure, our endorsement of Paul may be as confident and voluntary as the guy wearing the cowboy hat in the commercial, but the former insurance salesman being a guaranteed content mill isn’t the only reason we’re endorsing him for Congress.

First of all, I’ve lived in Oklahoma my entire life, and it’s not every day you get to endorse a Texan who lives in a house owned by a Russian pop star! That’s pretty exciting!

Second, who doesn’t want to be represented by a millionaire man of the people from Texas who still buys his suits off the discount rack at Burlington:

In addition to that, Paul even coaxed Lance Danger West out of exile to record this interview! What’s not to love?!

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s past time that all Oklahoma politicians record interviews with former OKC TV news anchors!

For example, who wouldn’t want to see Ryan Walters sit down for a segment of Trash or Treasure? during an interview with Linda Cavanaugh?

“Now Ryan, what did you bring in to get appraised today?”

“Well, Linda, thank you for having me. Today I brought some WWII Nazi Youth memorabilia that my grandfather acquired during the war. I also have these old Confederate coins that I found at a garage sale.”

Okay, maybe we should have Ryan sit down with Andrew Speno instead. He’ll kiss any politician’s ass for the right amount of money.

Anyway, where were we again? Oh yeah, endorsing Paul “Big Tex” Bondar for US Congress!

There are plenty of good reasons to endorse the guy who looks like an “If They Mated” composite of Barney Rubble and Joe from Family Guy. But the primary one is that he’ll be way more fun for us to cover and lampoon than the Duke of the Chickasaw – Tom Cole.

We’ve published over 12,000 articles in this site’s history, and you know how many times Tom Cole’s name has been in a headline?

ZERO.

Seriously, not one time in the 17-year history of this site has Tom Cole done something dumb enough to get a dedicated TLO write-up. The guy is about as interesting as a rock.

Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure a rock is what’s found inside Bondar’s brain, which, based on what we know about the other pebble-brained members of our congressional delegation like Marcuswayne Mullin and Josh “Big Britches” Breechen, will guarantee us a heavy dose of gaffes, controversies, and stupid statements to write about for the next two years while he commutes to DC from his home in Texas to fight union bosses.

Sadly, I don’t think Bondar has a very good chance to win today, but maybe – just maybe – our endorsement will carry some weight for 4th District Republican voters and Bondar will pull off the upset.

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.