Let's give a big cheers to the Oklahoma Tourism Department!
Just in time for the upcoming overcast total eclipse, Oklahoma Secretary of Tourism Shelly Zumwalt hopped on KFOR and, right as her Adderall was apparently kicking in, unveiled her agency's new beer collaboration with Stone Cloud Brewery.
The brew is called Bonding with Bigfoot. It will soon be available to all non-frumpy drinkers at a State Park Lodge near you.
As a Level 2 alcoholic and the OG of the Oklahoma co-branded beer scene, I think this is a great idea for the Tourism Department.
Stone Cloud is a solid brewery, and – as long as they aren’t pulling a Brent Swadley and selling the state its used fermenters for double the price they paid for them – I have no problem with this.
In fact, I hope Shelly and Co. send me a six-pack to promptly review!
My only complaint is with the name.
I know I don't make over $250,000 a year as a state agency director, but can’t we think of a better way to brand and represent our various state parks than by latching on to a mythological creature from the Pacific Northwest that doesn’t technically exist?
That’s not exactly a glowing endorsement for the Oklahoma State Park experience.
Plus, Bonding with Bigfoot sounds way too similar in name to our recent beer collaboration with Patricia’s and Anthem – Bondage with Bigfoot:
Imitation is the highest form of flattery, I guess.
In all seriousness, I wonder how many drunk rednecks competing in a poker run at Lake Texoma are going to make a very similar lazy joke this summer?
“Hey Daryll. Toss me one of them Bondage with Bigfoots or whatever.”
“Ya mean your wife’s beer! He he he.”
Actually, I doubt very many people will make that joke because they’ll all be drinking Shelly’s beer of choice – Lost Lake:
Instead of Bonding with Bigfoot, I would have gone a different route and named various beers after actual state parks. For example:
– Roman Nose Red Ale
– Beavers Bend Berline
– Little Sahara Siazon
– Quartz Mountain Artsy Amber
If none of those work, the state also could have gone a more topical and current route that pays homage to local news and politics.
For example, any of these are better than Bonding with Bigfoot:
– Excessive Management Fee Mailbock
– Dino Lalli's Cancellation Dinkle
– Shelly’s Sometimes Blonde Ale
– Swadley’s American White Ale
– Zumwalt’s Not Too Old Ale
Okay, I doubt they’ll go with any of those, but I thought I’d toss them out there.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
