We finally have some good news to report!
Although Oklahoma generally lands in the bottom 10 of most state rankings, there is one area where our excellence shines – vaping.
Thanks to this article in The Oklahoman that required the work of two reporters (and we wonder why journalism is failing), I’ve learned that something called Forbes Advisor released a ranking of the Top 10 States for Vaping.
Look who’s doing fine, Oklahoma:
Yep, watch your teeth, Kentucky. You may lead the way in adults who vape every day, but we’re coming after you, thanks to the hard work of Oklahoma’s youth…
The state with the highest percentage of Gen Zers who use e-cigarettes every day was Oklahoma (22.5%).
That’s awesome! Take a bow all you Emilies, Madisons, and Emmas. Hop in the truck and grab some juice you Braydens, Brodies, and Gunners. Thanks to your hard work and even harder-working lungs, Oklahoma is on the path to becoming the top vaping state of all time!
Overall, Oklahoma ranked number three, behind Tennessee and the aforementioned Kentucky folk:
For what’s worth, I applaud this news.
I’ve honestly never vaped nicotine, and considering it makes you look as cool and natural as a guy riding around Lake Hefner on a recumbent bike with a bluetooth headset sticking out of his ear, I probably never will.
That being said, I want whatever is best for the Oklahoma vaping industry, and specifically, my favorite vape shop on the planet – Vapeology:
I don’t know a lot about his place. It has limited reviews and hardly any online presence, but I’m required by a sworn Gen X oath to personally support any small business named for a Pearl Jam album, especially their experimental and underappreciated Vitalogy.
In fact, I want Vapeology to be such a big success that I am officially volunteering my valuable time to become the vape shop's marketing director. I’m currently working on an ad that will play on Rock 100.5 The Katt that goes like this…
She lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better vape.
She dreams in colors, she dreams in red, can't find a better vape.
Can’t find a better vape!
Can't find a better vape!
Can’t fiiiiiiiind a better vaaaape!
In fact, I think I’ll get the owners to open an entire chain of Pearl Jam-themed vape shops. Other locations will include Yellow Vapebetter, Rearview Vape, and my personal favorite, Elderly Women Behind The Counter of a Vape Shop in a Small Town.
Sure, the Gen Z kids who will carry our state to vaping greatness may not understand the 1990s grunge references – "This is Not For You!" – but as long we get them hooked and addicted to vaping, that doesn’t matter.
Anyway, I guess I should congratulate all the vapers – young and old – who helped secure Oklahoma's spot near the top of these rankings.
Sure, we may not be able to get big businesses to move here, and we’re stuck at the bottom of most desirable categories, but Oklahoma is a vaper's paradise, and finally Top 10 at something.
