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Nathan Damh rides into legislative sunset with middle finger ablazing…

We’ve seen a lot of crazy Derplahoma lawmakers come and go over our past 16 years – from Sally Kern to Ralph Shortey to John Bennett – but there's always going to be a soft spot in my heart for the failed human experiment known as Nathan Dahm.

Since he arrived on the Oklahoma political scene like a fart inside a Wendy’s in 2012, Dahm’s become one of the most hated politicians in Oklahoma history, consistently using his office as a platform to troll liberals and moderates with insane legislation, grandstand on ultra right-wing philosophies and hypocrisies, and share his favorite Kamala Harris blow job jokes, all while also serving as unintentional poster child for undiagnosed brain injuries and homeschool education reform. 

Thanks to (Hallelujah!) term limits, this will sadly be Nathan’s final year to embarrass both his colleague and constituents in the Oklahoma Senate, and he’s busy making sure his few remaining days of relevance don’t go to waste. 

Never one to shy away from free publicity or wasting taxpayer dollars, Dahm recently raised his tiny middle finger to the local media that’s kindly made him relevant over the years by introducing something called the “Common Sense Freedom of Press Control Act.”

Although a better name for the law would be “The Media Morality and Muzzling Act” or “Thought Police Enlistment Edict” or “The ‘Hey, Hitler Would Really Like This Law’ Law,” the comical bill would enact a heavy list of regulations and requirements for people to work in local media, like take a drug test, get a media license, and even enroll in a propaganda free safety training course courtesy of Prager U. 

You can read the full text of the bill here, or read this AI-generated synopsis below:

Oklahoma Senate Bill 1837, known as the "Common Sense Freedom of Press Control Act," proposes stringent regulations for media outlets and personnel. Key aspects include:

Individual Regulations: Individuals in content creation roles (reporters, producers, writers, editors) must pass a criminal background check, obtain a specific license, complete a PragerU-coordinated 8-hour training, provide proof of $1,000,000 liability insurance, and undergo quarterly drug testing.

Company Regulations: Media companies must ensure employee compliance with the same training, acquire a corporate license, maintain $50,000,000 liability insurance, and display a disclaimer about potential propaganda, especially in opinion videos.

Scope and Definitions: The bill targets major national broadcasters (ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, NPR, AP) and their affiliates, focusing on outlets with opinion-based content.

Licensing and Fees: Outlines fees for individual ($290 for 5 years, $580 for 10 years) and corporate licenses ($250,000 annually).

Whew. I’m glad we get to hide behind the satire label, otherwise the regulations in this bill – specifically the drug testing part – would suck balls!

Actually, I don’t think we have a lot to worry about.

Much like Nathan Dahm’s sex life, this bill is dead on arrival. Even Nathan would admit this bill has no chance of passing, and is basically just his way of screaming for attention and seeking validity from his ultra-right-wing fascist friends. 

On that note, I think it’s accomplishing its goal. 

Even though the bill serves as a shining example as to exactly why we need an open and free press to cover fascists and other right-wing lunatics, both the national and local media are latching onto it and giving Nathan the attention he needs.

Hell, so many people are paying attention that maybe it will score him another chance to be depantsed by a comedian in an interview. Other than Nathan’s family, who wouldn’t want to see that?

Anyway, we’d like to wish Nathan Dahm the best of luck in his remaining few months in the Oklahoma legislature. He may be universally loathed and hated by his colleagues and most Oklahoma residents, but he’s always done a good job at giving us a moronic right-wing stooge to cover, and for that, we’ll always be thankful. 

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.

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