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Oklahoma named Top 10 State for “Least Healthy Population”

Depending on your point of view, here's some pleasant'ish OK Top 10 news to share.

Earlier this week, Forbes released a list of the 10 Least Healthy States in the Country – an engagement-bait ranking of state populations based on things where Oklahomans usually excel, like "drug abuse, unhealthy lifestyle habits, and chronic disease."

Normally when I write a sentence like that, it's usually followed by the words "Oklahoma was ranked number three spot, trailing just behind Louisiana and Mississippi," but this ranking is apparently anything but normal. 

In a surprise to area physicians, morticians and Braum’s shift leaders who deal painkillers on the side, Oklahoma was only ranked 8th!

Here’s the full top 10 list of the least healthy states:

1. West Virginia

2. Mississippi

3. Tennessee

4. Arkansas

5. Kentucky

6. Alabama

7. Louisiana

8. Oklahoma

9. Ohio

10. Indiana

That’s right! Oklahoma is only the 8th most unhealthy state in the nation, which if you ask me, is total bullshit!

Sure, the list of unhealthy states above us looks as competitive, formidable, and even duplicable as Oklahoma’s SEC football schedule, but there’s no way Oklahoma’s more healthy than Tennessee, Kentucky, or even Alabama.

And yes, I’m aware sweet tea is a bigger part of those states' cultures than ours, but don’t knock Oklahoman’s fondness for cherry limeades, onion burgers and gonnorhea.

Also, I believe we’re the only state to still make smoking mandatory in certain bars. Not even Louisiana or West Virginia can hold that honor. 

I think the reason for our low ranking is pretty obvious – since Oklahoma is the only state without a proper health and public safety lab (which should count for something, right?), the folks who do the rankings probably didn't get all the info, data and tests that show how truly unhealthy Oklahomans are.

Makes sense, huh?

Then again, that’s just my logical and rational thought on the matter. I call for Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt to call for a full investigation and, at least for now, suspend operations at the Oklahoma Health Department to get us back on track. 

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.

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