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Dumbass Oklahoma Lawmaker files bill to reject all federal education funding…

Friendly reminder – Ryan Walters isn’t the only dumbass Oklahoma politician with horrible ideas regarding education. 

Earlier this week, News 9 took a look at a bill being reintroduced in the 2024 legislative session by David Bullard – a moronic, mouth-breathing State Senator from the Derplahoman breeding grounds of Durant. 

Titled the “Sabotage, Destroy and Privatize Public Education Act,” the proposed bill would direct the state to implement a 10-year plan to phase out and refuse all federal education funding, because you know, the last thing Oklahoma residents want is for their state to use the federal taxes we pay for our benefit.

Here are some details via News 9: 

A former teacher and current lawmaker is reintroducing a bill that would look into phasing out federal funding in Oklahoma education. The lawmaker who wrote the bill says he wants to see if it’s possible to replace the federal funds with state funds.

“Federal funding is not helping us be more successful with our kids. It's actually in fact causing more problems,” said Senator David Bullard (R-Durant).

It may seem odd that a former teacher is trying to suffocate Oklahoma public schools by slowly taking away federal funding that can account for 30% to 40% of their total funding, but we shouldn’t be too surprised. 

Just like there are anti-government doctors out there who push quack medical conspiracy theories and tell their patients to take horse dewormer because they’re either pseudoscience grifters or brain-dead MAGA-maniacs, I guess we’re going to have some teachers who – for their own financial and personal gain – endorse actions that would hurt public education.

Here’s more:

Senator Bullard is reintroducing a bill that would direct the State Department of Education to create a 10-year plan to phase out the acceptance and use of federal funds.

“What I wanted to do was see if we could find a way for the state of Oklahoma to replace those funds,” said Sen. Bullard. “We've taken more and more and more federal funds over the years, but you've seen our ranking within other states has not changed one bit.”

Newsflash, Einstein – We’re not the only state receiving federal education funding! Other states get it too, you dunce-hat-wearing Derplahoman dumbass.

Also, other states don’t have Public School Superintendents and lawmakers hellbent on sabotaging public education, which if you ask me, would be a better explanation as to why our state’s education ranking hasn’t “changed one bit.”

Although rejecting all federal education may seem like a fringe and looney idea, Bullard wants to clarify that our cash-rich public schools aren’t going to lose a dime. 

You see, the always reliable and dependable Oklahoma government that is renowned for underfunding public services and dealing with a serious budget crisis every five to seven years is going to foot the bill instead:

Bullard also says he doesn't want to eliminate any funding from schools, he simply wants to look at replacing some of the federal dollars with state dollars.

“What I'm attempting to do is prevent the defunding of our schools by the Biden administration and make sure that our kids are protected from those federal regulations and strings that we just simply aren't going to abide by here in the state of Oklahoma,” said Sen. Bullard.

Translation – I’m fine selling out kids to stick it to Joe Biden. 

For what it’s worth, grandstanding against Grandpa Joe and the Feds isn’t the only reason Ballard is doing this.

According to his interview with News 9, his real motivation is improving school lunches.

Bullard says one of the programs that he would like more local control over is feeding programs.

“I mean, why are we allowing somebody in D.C. to make our food so gross that kids who are hungry would rather throw that food away than eat it?,” said Sen. Bullard.

He says he’s visited some schools that throw away a majority of the free and reduced lunches they are given, and that money is essentially being wasted. He worries though, if the state does not continue to opt into the federal feeding programs, it could result in reduced federal dollars in other places.

Yep, that’s it.

We need to reject federal education funding because school cafeteria food sucks now.

That makes total sense, because school cafeteria food used to be so awesome. If only we reject federal education funding, we can finally get back to the good old days of serving our kids only the finest canned fruit, soy hamburgers and rectangular slices of flimsy cheese “pizza” that God intended.

In other news, I told you this guy was a dumbass.

There are three things in life that are universally assured – Death, Taxes and School Lunches Being Terrible. 

Seriously, where has this guy been for the last 200 years? Did he never watch You Can’t Do That On Television, The Simpsons or any other show that mocks school cafeterias? You can go all the way back to when Horace Mann was pioneering public education in this country and the only thing that’s remained the same is school cafeteria food sucking. 

Of course, smart and intelligent people know that Bullard’s plan has nothing to do with school food quality. 

Just like Ryan Walters and the other mindless right-wing lunatics across the state who have been indoctrinated since youth by ultra-conservative anti-government evangelical dogma, Bullard wants to privatize public education across Oklahoma.

He knows that's currently an unpopular stance, so a good way to nudge it forward is to choke public schools from their funding, thus lowering their quality, and thus forcing more parents to send their kids to private schools where they'll want vouchers that will even further defund public schools.

Of course, he can’t just come out and say that, so we have to hear moronic excuses come from his large droopy mouth. 

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised. 

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