When it comes to German-engineered automobiles, I’m a sucker for the masculine power, elegance, and prestige of all things Bayerische Motoren Werke AG, especially when it comes to their turbo-powered M-class machines that go from 0 - 60 in under 4 seconds.
That being said, I also admire the luxury, class, and feel of Mercedes automobiles, and how they make drivers and passengers feel like pampered members of the rising bourgeoisie.
I don’t have strong thoughts on Audi or Porsche, but I would drive one for a few weeks before selling it if you parked it in my driveway. If you gave me a VW, I’d quickly swap it out for a Kia.
I’m sharing my thoughts on German automobiles because Wendy Suares – the sizzling evening anchor for KOKH Channel 25 and certified member of the untrustworthy and very biased leftwing media who hates America according to Ryan Langston-Walters – recently got in a car wreck while driving around in her Mercedes:
Yikes! That sucks for Wendy, but I’m glad she’s okay. She does a really good job tormenting Ryan Walters, Kevin Stitt, and the rest of our government stooges on Twitter, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to her. I’ll let you know when she gets a Go Fund Me setup so we can all contribute to it.
For what it’s worth, this is the biggest car accident involving a blonde news anchor – or former one – since Abby Broyles was t-boned in Chisholm Creek a year or two before her public downfall:
I think we all know history has a way of repeating itself, so for the love of God, please keep Wendy away from marijuana gummies and any tween slumber parties in the Deer Creek area. We don't want to lose her.
Anyway, I think I’m going to wrap up the Friday filler content and get to work on some end-of-month bookkeeping. Drive safely and watch out for morons running red lights.