Stay away from windows and head to an interior room or closet in the lowest level of your house! We have a lunatic conspiracy theorist warning in the north OKC metro!
Yesterday afternoon, News 9 reported that some moron wearing a dog t-shirt opened up a can of whoop ass on the station’s weather radar.
Like most idiots who spend their Sunday nights attacking radar, the vandal wasn’t smart enough to wear a mask or less identifiable clothing:
Outside of the time I dropped a barometer whale attending KFOR Weather School, I’ve never destroyed a weather instrument, but if I ever get an urge, I’d probably wear a mask and Emily Sutton’s old weather vain costume to make it harder to identify me.
Then again, what do I know. I’m not that mentally ill!
Naturally, News 9 has played up the sabotage and turned it into a marketing opportunity. Here’s their overly dramatic report:
A deliberate act of vandalism temporarily knocked News 9’s lifesaving weather radar offline Sunday night — and it was all caught on camera.
Surveillance footage shows the suspect arriving at the radar site in Northeast Oklahoma City at 9:34 PM. He climbed the fence and, within minutes, disabled a key power disconnect, smashed the power meter, and broke into the generator’s transfer switch control panel before destroying it.
I don’t blame News 9 for milking this a little bit, but really? Lifesaving weather radar? Between the National Weather Service, the three other news channels, and the 5,000 weather apps out there, I think we'll have plenty of radars out to save lives if Oklahoma is hit with a July tornado outbreak.
When I first saw the story, I’ll admit that I thought it was kind of funny.
It’s not that I think vandalism is a laughing matter, but let’s be honest, you generally only see methed-out addicts punching bus benches or yelling at their own reflection in windows. It’s rare to see them going full Rampage on a weather radar!
It made me wonder if there was another reason for this vandalism. Was the guy mourning the loss of Gary England? Did David Payne steal his screaming eagle? Or maybe it was just the initiation ritual to join Aaron Tuttle’s weather cult?
Sadly, it appears to be none of those reasons. I guess the nutjobs of the world now think that Doppler radars are used to control the weather.
Check this out:
Yep, that’s right.
You know those big white golf-ball-looking domes containing rotating antennas that send out radio waves to detect precipitation and storms?
Well, the 4chan nuts of the world—who have no understanding of science or reality—think they generate enough power and energy to generate moisture in the atmosphere, move around high and low pressure systems, and steer the jet stream.
I guess that makes sense.
The government is an evil cabal run by lizard people, and secretly controlling the weather is a much easier and more efficient way to manipulate the masses than simply using propaganda, surveillance, social engineering, or literally any of the hundreds of proven methods government regimes have perfected over the past few thousand years.
You know, proven methods like putting fluoride in water.
Anyway, I guess if you spot this vandal, call Crime Stoppers or the Oklahoma Mental Health Line.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
