Though most people would never expect it, inside Noah’s Amish Furniture Store, 3623 West Main Street, is a small market setup of Amish groceries, including refrigerated and frozen items.
While most pop culture tells us about the felt hats, butter-churners and covered buggies on a dirt road, the Amish culture in Oklahoma—especially around Chouteau in Mayes County, and Clarita in Coal County—apparently has (somewhat) natural food for your body and soul.
With treats like assorted potato chips, various nuts and candies, and multiple jars of what seemed like mostly pickled beets, I channeled my inner Harrison Ford and went undercover Amish, using various groceries to prepare a three-course dinner for myself, hoping to witness the feel-good taste of the simplest of lifestyles.
For my starter, I went with two Walnut Creek products – Cajun Cheese Curds and Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips.
Although I know some people love these, the Salt and Vinegar crinkle-cut potato chips had a lot of, well, salt and vinegar. Almost too much for me, as both key ingredients drowned out the chip's original flavor.
On the other hand, the Cajun Cheese Curds were my own personal Rumspringa!
Although I'm not a curd connoisseur – the only fresh batch I've ever had was in Watonga – these were more than alright, with the most blessed curdled flavor making me say "Laissez les bon temps rouler." I can't wait to try their other flavors down the road for my cheesy snacking.
Like a bottle of fine wine sarsaparilla, this authentic Kutztown Sarsaparilla, made with pure cane sugar soda, has a real “medical” taste that I can really prescribe. Downing the soda, the bubbles gave me a bloated feeling that I was actually conformable with.
For dinner, I went with a Morning Star Chicken Pot-Pie, predominately due to Biblical scripture quoted on the packaging.
After ten minutes in the toaster oven—your mileage might vary—the heavenly pie was very flaky and \moist, and, even better, the seemingly-fresh vegetables—especially the potatoes—were spot-on. After all the nauseating Banquet meals of yonder, you realize that this is how frozen pot pies should be!
The beautiful bow on every proper dinner, I chose two fine sweets for dessert, starting with Hershberger’s Farm and Bakery Black Raspberry Pie. With a taste of fresh raspberry, clean water, and powdered sugar, this is better than most grocery store pies, and maybe better than the Arbuckle Pies. Sue me!
Not to be outdone, Noah’s Amish Furniture Rhubarb Jam is one is the most spreadable jams I've ever tried! Dreamed up as a device by tepid sitcom writers, it had a thoroughly engaging and quantifiably tasty, like a meeting of a fig and an apple and creating... this.
Whatever you do, try this jam! Better yet, try them all!