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Daring Dumbass Takes Midnight I-35 Joy Ride on Back of Semi

10:26 AM EDT on October 5, 2022

Here at The Lost Ogle, we always like to give a shout-out to the coolest and dumbest criminals our state has to offer. They don't even have to be from here, either! As long as someone is doing something criminally stupid and entertaining in Oklahoma, we like to write about it.

On that note, I guess we should give proper due to Kansas resident Dustin Michael Slocum. He was arrested in Guthrie earlier this week after he was nabbed hitching a drunken joyride on the back of a semi from Wichita all the way down to Guthrie.

Via Guthrie News:

Motorists began making calls around the Oklahoma and Kansas state line early Monday morning. What they saw was a man holding on to the back of the semi-trucks door. The driver of the truck left a Wichita shipping yard and began driving southbound on Interstate 35. Little did the driver know there was extra cargo on holding in the back. With much surprise from motorists watching the event take place, the Oklahoma Highway Patrol was notified and contacted the Logan County Sheriff’s Office of the situation just before 2:30 a.m. As Logan County deputies began receiving calls of the truck around mile marker 178 (near the Cimarron River bridge), the truck driver finally came to a stop after another semi-truck and a vehicle constantly flashed their headlights seven miles outside of Guthrie. The Kansas man on the back, 30-year-old Dustin Michael Slocum, was found standing on the rear rails of the trailer hanging onto the door bar.

Yeah, it's probably not a surprise that after an Oklahoma sex toy spill makes international news, we have desperate people clinging to the back of semis!

Although he was going in the wrong direction, Slocum had a good excuse – he was trying to find his wife in Kansas.

Slocum told deputies he had hopped on in hopes of finding his wife (in Kansas). He said he tried to get the driver to stop but that he didn’t. To much surprise, the driver of the truck was taken aback as to what had just happened.

From Penicillin to The Slinky to the microwave, some of the world's greatest inventions and discoveries have come by accident, so we should probably give Slocum credit for inadvertently coming up with an Uber-like service that uses the back of semis to move people around the country!

Seriously, it's not a bad idea. Just add a little safety harness to the backs of the truck, build an app for it, and before you can say "Peter built," you'll have a fleet of drivers and vehicles ready to move people safely all across the country. I'll get started on the pitch deck immediately!

Anyway, we wish Slocum the best of luck in finding his wife. If you're a trucker stopped in the Guthrie area, you may want to check the back of your rig before you head out.

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