David Hooten is a genetically-altered quack…
11:01 AM EDT on June 13, 2022
On Thursday night, while I was out drinking and making my body sore at various deadCenter events, News 9 Eagle Scout reporter Storme Jones shared secretly recorded audio of current Oklahoma County Clerk / aspiring State Treasurer David Hooten – the weirdo local politician who doubles as a professional trumpeter – threatening to get his employees drunk and make their bodies sore as part of some weird fear emersion therapy he invented.
If that sounds strange and creepy, don't worry – Hooten reassured the employees that everything is fine because his brain has been genetically altered to withstand the effects of alcohol.
Check out this insanity:
Man. I think someone's probably been hit in the back of the head too many times with a trombone handslide! Seriously, it's probably not a good sign when an alarmed reporter has to ask a politician "You want your employees to be scared to get drunk with you?" Is Hooten a County Clerk or the owner of Dippin' Dots?!
The Gaylord-backed non-profit online journalism outlet NonDoc shared an entire transcript of the audio, and it's even more disturbing when you read it.
Hooten explained to the Non Doccers that the whole thing was nothing more than a psychological team-building experiment he dreamed up to improve employee morale, and that his plan was to take employees indoor skydiving until the whole escapade was canceled by the fun-haters in HR.
Hooten tried to dismiss the whole episode as election-driven gotcha journalism, because you know, voters shouldn't be informed that their elected officials are threatening to inflict involuntary intoxication and pain on county employees...
“It’s so amazing to me that everyone is reporting about something that never happened. About three weeks before an election day, everyone has something to say about you, and everyone wants to turn it a certain way,” Hooten said, then referencing News 9 journalist Storme Jones. “I understand why Storme Jones is doing it. It makes him more popular because he’s picking at the best and most honest elected official in the state, and that’s what he’s going to do to try to make a name, and I understand that.”
For what it's worth, this isn't the only time Hooten's been in the news. He recently tried to funnel over $25-million in CARES funds to a non-profit founded by one of his celebrity campaign endorsors – Barry Switzer.
In addition to that, Hooten recently issued the following memo to his staff that referenced audit findings about a "lack of internal controls." I don't think it's been reported by the legit media yet.
Yikes! I'd encourage the legitimate media to get drunk and bruised and look into those audit findings. With the way things are going, we may have to play this song in honor of Hooten's political career:
No lie, one of my dogs growled at my computer when I played that audio. Maybe Hooten spliced in some high-frequency tones to play psychological experiments on them?
Anyway, you have to think this controversy severely damages Hooten's chances to be elected State Treasurer, and it probably should. I don't think we need a guy who's undergone alcohol immunity gene therapy to have anything to do with state finances. How else can he cope with all the stress of cooking the state books for Stitt?!
Also, the controversy should probably disqualify him from serving as Oklahoma County Clerk. I call for Hooten to be recalled and replaced by Edgar Cruz or Kyle Dillingham immediately.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.