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Desperate Stitt turns to “Wokelahoman” to pitch bad ideas…

Now that he's officially the most unpopular person at the state capitol, with even his fellow conservative colleagues stripping him of power, and saying he's a "narcissist," "racist," and "unbecoming of the office," Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt recently pitched his bad ideas to combat inflation in a guest editorial published in the new & improved The Oklahoman.

Or as his communications staffers and strategists now call it, The Wokelahoman:

Yep, Stitt and Co. are so desperate to improve the governor's public image that they're now submitting propaganda to the same woke media outlet they accuse of publishing propaganda, all while being blissfully unaware that media is nothing but propaganda. Say what you want about our Governor and his corrupt administration, they never fail at being simple-minded hypocrites.

Overall, the editorial is pretty standard and unenlightening. Naturally, Stitt's three biggest inflation concerns have to do with the three most common things that go in and out of his mouth: milk, beef and gas:

For the most part, the editorial followed a basic Public Relations 101 format. Stitt and Co. tried to begin with a positive accomplishment to highlight, but with his administration being marred by scandals, corruption, and failures, they had to scrape the bottom of the barrel.

The 2022 legislative regular session ended last week, and I am proud that we were able to accomplish some major victories for the people of Oklahoma.

Since 2020 I have been pushing for a solution that will improve health outcomes for all Oklahomans, so I was thrilled to sign into law legislation that will create a new health care model in our state. Over the next few years, we will begin the transition to what’s often called a “managed care” system, which will improve SoonerCare member satisfaction, invest in preventive and primary care, and increase cost predictability to the State. My administration and especially Kevin Corbett, chief executive officer of  the Oklahoma Health Care Authority and secretary of health and mental health, have been working tirelessly to get this done and we will continue to be dedicated towards improving the health of our state.

Man, imagine how hard it was for Chucky H. and Carly Atch to write that editorial? Not only are they writing for the Wokelahoman, but they have to make it seem like their boss is doing a good job, too! That sounds painful! I can see the 1980s movie montage of the two of them, grinding along with a team of interns and youth ministers, working late into the night, painfully crafting every word all while eating Swadley's BBQ and drinking root beer.

"Hey, we need to start with a policy victory for this Wokelahoman editorial. What should we start with?"

"How about siding with insurance companies over the Oklahoma people and healthcare professionals?"

"Great! Can you pass the beans?"

Later in the editorial, Stitt shares some of his ideas to combat inflation. Naturally, his big solution is to lower his taxes:

When the 2022 budget first hit my desk, I was disappointed to see that rather than invest in real tax reform, there were two short-term “fixes” proposed by the Legislature: one-time, federally taxed $75 government checks to Oklahomans — in December — and a motor vehicle sales tax that only brings relief to those who can afford to buy a new car. I vetoed them both and presented a real relief plan that calls for eliminating the state’s grocery tax and reducing personal income tax. I am pleased that the Legislature agreed that more work needed to be done for hard-working Oklahomans and will take up my inflation relief plan in a special session on June 13.

First of all, according to commercials played on the local news each night, I'm pretty sure anyone can afford to buy a car in Oklahoma. You don't even need credit, a job, or a down payment! There's a shady dealership somewhere that can get you in a clunker today.

Second, how does cutting personal income tax help us combat inflation? As prices go up, so does the cost to run the government, so it seems like cutting a government revenue source would be a dumb idea right now. Also, by cutting taxes, aren't you giving people more money to spend, which further increases inflation? Johnny's First Time Caller and I'll take your answers off the air.

Anyway, if you're down for a good laugh, you can read the rest of the editorial here. When you do, take solace in the equally comforting and terrifying thought that our lawmakers have gone out of their way to circumnavigate Stitt and Co., and keep him out of the policy process.

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.

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