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Moronic politician nicknames himself “The Patriot” for Labor Commissioner run…

8:10 AM EDT on April 21, 2022

Although I think term limits create just as many problems as they aim to solve, at least they're ridding us of right-wing stooge politician Sean Roberts!

After spending an insufferable 12-years in the Oklahoma House of Representatives behaving like a right-wing troll, he's having to pack up his office and search for a new government gig to pay his salary.

Sean first set his eyes on John Frank Lucas's seat in the 3rd Congressional District, but eventually dropped that bid and announced he's running for State Labor Commissioner instead. It's a curious choice when you consider Sean's only experience with labor is working in government and creeping on expecting moms in the maternity ward.

Anyway, Sean submitted paperwork for the Labor Commissioner gig last week, and being the WWE-inspired squawk he is, filed using the new nickname he gave himself – Sean "The Patriot" Roberts.

Naturally, incumbent Labor Commissioner Leslie Osborne lodged a protest. She claims Robert's nickname is a "cynical" attempt to misdirect or mislead voters, which it is.

Here are the details via KOKH Fox 25:

Current labor commissioner Leslie Osborn filed a contest of candidacy with the state election board against Rep. Sean Roberts.

Roberts filed to run for labor commissioner last week as Sean "The Patriot" Roberts.

Osborn says that name violates a section of Oklahoma admin code because he is not "generally known or does business" by that name.

She says the use of the term "the patriot" is a "cynical" attempt to misdirect or mislead voters and its a campaign slogan that shouldn't be used.

First of all, I hate to break it to Sean, but putting on a blue suit and red tie and then jerking off to the Pledge of Allegiance at Trump rallies isn't patriotic. It's sick and perverse. Also, Patriot isn't even a good nickname. It fits him about as well as a size 32 pair of Levi's. He should go with something more accurate like Shlub Face, Chubby Funster, Eagle Sucker or MAGA Groomer.

And before you decry that I'm being too mean-spirited, remember that Shlub Face is the same guy who painted a decorative "Let's Go Brandon" mural at a Christmas Parade. That Eagle Sucker has no problem with derogatory jokes and humor, and can obviously dish it out and take it in.

Naturally, Chubby Funster tried to spin Osborne's rightful protest as a "nefarious attack on his nickname" and claimed "she's doing everything she can to keep him off the ballot," even though she'll probably defeat him by 20% or more in the primary.

I have a feeling Eagle Sucker's tongue is firmly planted in his cheek, wishing it was instead wrapped around Trump's mushroom-shaped penis, so it's hard to take him too seriously here. Either way, I wish him the worst of luck dealing with this staged stupidity and hope this is the last time we have to write about him as a political candidate. That being said, I do look forward to writing about him in the future whenever he is arrested for being too patriotic with someone in an interstate motel room.

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