With it being a cold and snowy day across the state today, I thought we could dust the sleet off some classic TLO everwhite content...
10 Most Annoying Types of Winter Weather Photos...
We've all done it. You wake up to three to five fresh inches of snow, ice or sleet on the ground and your backyard looks like a pretty winter wonderland. You let the dogs out and they start playing and, oh my god, look at the snow on the patio furniture and the birds in that tree. And then it happens. Out comes the phone. You snap a couple of pics and a video and share them on your favorite social media channel. Then your aunt or friend from college you haven't seen in years reacts to them and you feel all warm and happy, despite the fact you annoyed every one of your friends and followers with some boring, annoying "photography."
Okay, bad example.
Anyway, if you overshare boring winter weather photos, don't feel too bad. Everyone does it. Unfortunately, social media is not where this winter weather photo over-sharing stops. Some people actually send their pics to TV news stations! Amazingly, the news stations don't seem to mind. In fact, they encourage it! They ask for readers to submit boring winter weather photos and then put them on the air and call it "news." This prompts people to take and send more pics, creating a vicious cyclone of winter weather photography oversharing that, if we're not careful, could lead to the fall of society.
As a result, we've rounded up the 10 most annoying types of pics people send to news channels or post on Facebook or whatever. These account for 99% of all winter photographs. Avoid them if possible:
1. Rulers, Tape Measures or Yardsticks
This is one of the most common pics. What happens is Emily Sutton will say something on air like "Send us your snow totals in Wetumka!" and then people rush outside and take these. They're pretty awful. Wow. Four inches of snow. I hope you're okay.
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2. Dogs
I love dogs. Let me rephrase that. I love my dogs. Your dogs are just okay, and look like every other dog out there. Even though they're cute as hell, I don't need to see 5,000 pictures of them getting frostbite on their feet, begging to go inside.
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3. Kids
Pics of kids are a lot like pics of dogs. Unless it's your kid, grandkid, niece or nephew, nobody really cares. In an odd way, it's kind of weird how similar kids and dogs are. The only difference is dogs are more loyal, cheaper, obey commands, and won't take your job when they're all grown up.
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4. Cars
What they don't share pics of is the car driving down the road the next day, snow and ice flying the roof, causing accidents in its wake.
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5. Wild Conspiracy Theories
To answer these News 9 viewers' questions, the burning snow is all part of a vast conspiracy by the US Government to poison its people. It has nothing to do with a naturally occurring phenomenon or anything.
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6. A Tree
Pretty amazing, huh? A tree... with snow falling... in the wintertime. You only see thousands of those each year. If Robert Frost wrote a poem about all these tree pics it would be called "Winter Vomit."
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7. Birds
I was surprised by the amount of people who posted pics of birds. Do people not realize that just like any other animal, birds occasionally have to live and adapt to snow? Unless the bird is big, yellow and can sing and talk, please don't post it to Facebook.
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8. Livestock
Okay, I'll even admit that one of the weird bull is pretty cool, but the other ones are all boring and identical. In fact, they make me want a hamburger. Stop it.
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9a. Backyard
If you're going to post a boring picture of your backyard, at least do us all a favor and have the decency to clean it up first. Or better yet, have a cool backyard like this person:
By the way, never trust someone who has an alligator statue in their backyard. They're probably a drug dealer or Mathis brother.
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9b. Patio Furniture
You knew this was coming, right? This is probably the worst type of winter weather photograph. If you do this, I hope all your furniture gets blown over during severe storm season.
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10. Driving
"Hey, what if I took a picture with my phone while driving around on slick roads! What a stupid thing to do, huh?"
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That's it for our list. Apologies go out to "Cars in Ditches" and "Frost on Windows." They barely missed out.
