Once every ten years, Oklahoma lawmakers are given the task of gerrymandering the shit out of congressional districts redrawing district lines to reflect population changes across the state.
Like a toddler entertaining himself with a sharpie and truck stop map, our esteemed lawmakers go out of their way to draw crazy-ass lines through neighborhoods and around whole suburbs to make sure their political party all voters are fairly represented.
While some news sources are making predictions as to how the district changes will affect elections, we at TLO know that some things will change for the better. In fact, here are 10 fun new shapes Oklahoma will soon be gerrymandered into!
District 13: Slowly Morphing into a Sideways Azerbaijan
Our government is taking its commitment to a "shared focus" with the former USSR satellite state a little too far.
–
District 88: Kentucky
Being a blue district, I can understand why the populace in 88 may not want to associate with Oklahoma. Someone needs to tell them that Kentucky probably isn't much better.
–
District 55: The Alice in Wonderland Caterpillar Funko Pop
Both appear to have been created while under the influence of something.
–
District 22: Pokemon Venomoth
Texas has a district that resembles Pokemon #95, Onix, which is way cooler than Venomoth. But don't fret! Word on the street is in 2031, our lawmakers are shooting to turn district 25 into Charizard.
–
District 97: a Check Engine Light
As long as everything's working okay, I guess we'll ignore it.
–
District 72: A State Fair Turkey Leg
They say you shouldn't grocery shop when you're hungry; I guess lawmakers shouldn't redistrict on an empty stomach, either.
–
District 99: A Sleepy Giraffe
Someone gerrymandered the hell out of this district, but it's hard to be mad at something so cute.
–
District 58: Kevin Stitt's Head
It looks like his grandma commissioned one of those silhouette pictures of his dome and he in turned commissioned a whole new congressional district.
–
District 68: A Dune Sandworm
You can't unsee it.
–
District 96: A Republican Foothold
Republicans have taken district 96 for the last 3 elections. I wonder why.
–
Use your imagination. Then follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.
