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Are Intergalactic Aliens Looking at Investing in Oklahoma Real Estate???

7:20 AM EDT on October 7, 2021

If you were out and about Monday morning around 2:00 AM, you were probably engaged in too much sin to notice the bright and brilliant ball of fire soaring through the sky and filling the atmosphere is blues and greens. While the American Meteor Society reported that October is a busy month for meteors, I’m not so sure the cosmic encounter was just a giant rock. Being that I am scarred by the clusterf*ck of random “once in a lifetime” disasters we called 2020, I would not be surprised to discover that the giant fire ball was actually an alien landing in Canadian County.

Really, who would blame them for landing here? Mortgage rates are low, Autumn is a generally a buyers’ market in real estate, and asking to be probed is not the weirdest thing the average Oklahoman has been solicited at any given rural gas station after 9:00 PM. But more than that, the state’s location, job market, and transportation has more than enough to offer a whole new galaxy of extraterrestrial transplants.

Though I wouldn't necessarily call the move to Oklahoma a star trek. 

All aliens know that when it comes to finding a new home, it’s all about location, location, location. Thankfully, Oklahoma hosts a wide range of terrain for terrestrials of all types. Between the Little Sahara’s Tatoine-esque dunes and Mars-like crimson soil of southwestern Oklahoma, alien life forms have plenty of options to form a new life in this state without losing the comforts of their home planet. No matter where you move in Oklahoma, aliens are never more than 20 minutes away from fields of corn, rye, and wheat that cover the land and provide a glorious canvas for crop circles.

What do you think the corn maze Earthlings are trying to communicate?

On top of Oklahoma having a scenic view with convenient amenities, aliens will be happy to find it is easy to coexist with Oklahomans. It’s hard enough to integrate into a new community and join a Homeowners Association without the Men in Black following your trail and making the HOA president constantly forget you actually paid your dues that month. Thankfully, 1. as evidenced by most folks’ appearance at Walmart no one in Oklahoma really cares what you look like and 2. most alien sightings are chalked up to meth use anyway.

Being that it’s easy to fit in in Oklahoma, it will be easy to find a job to sustain your new livelihood. By how many service industry and dispensary gigs are open nowadays, managers won’t care if you have three eyes, green skin, or the ability to choke out unruly Karens without actually laying a physical finger on them. The managers just want their dishes washed and someone to cover to-go orders.

Still better customer service than IHOP.

So between location and employment opportunities, it’s easy to see why intergalactic life forms are eager to transplant their pod here. Even though they’ll soon put the “home” in Oklahoma, I am sure the new alien families will need to make semi-annual trips to visit the in-laws on Ork or drop their spawns off at Intergalactic Space Camp. Even though intra-city public transportation leaves much to be desired, Oklahoma boasts an actual Space Port in Burns Flat that will allow for easy exit and reentrance of earth’s atmosphere 7 days per week. While you’re heading out west, check out the Thomas P. Stafford Air & Space Museum in Weatherford to learn more about our galaxy… even though ya’ll aliens probably know more about it than we do.

More than anything, Oklahomans would be more than happy to welcome the aliens to their home state. We don't care who you are. The aliens’ soon-to-be-neighbors will gladly initiate close encounters to get them involved with their latest MLM or invite them to church. We’ll even take you to our leader, no questions asked.

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Hayley got her real estate expertise from her mom. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.

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