Skip to Content
Everything Else

Patrick’s Friday News Round-Up (7)

12:13 PM EDT on September 24, 2021

The soundtrack for this week's news roundup is one of my favorite acts to emerge over the last five years or so – Big Thief.

A unique blend of folk and indie rock with a twinge of Americana, and fronted by a music prodigy, they have a one-of-a-kind sound, and it would be really cool if some local music venue would book them the next time they tour the southwest.

To the news round up!

State Fair Uses Cops, Media Allies to Try To Convince People It's Safe to Visit

After the first weekend of the Fair was marred by a double stabbing (and birth), the State Fair turned to its trusted bought-and-paid-for allies in law enforcement and the media to share some advice on how people can go to the fair, and enjoy fried food safely during a pandemic without getting robbed.

That cracks me up. This would be like sharing tips on how to safely shop at the I-40 Walmart! Part of the allure of going to the fair is the risk that you may get attacked by a carnie, injured on a ride or catch food poisoning from the corn-on-the-cob booth. Plus, just like an old OKC Blazers game, you never know when an impromptu fight will break out!

Instead of sharing tips on a safe State Fair experience, the media should tell people the best place to watch fights break out. Attendance will skyrocket!


Lawmakers are baffled why people won't return to shitty low-wage jobs...

How much do you want to bet the "study" will conclude that the liberal policies of communists Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi are to blame for people not wanting to roll burritos for the Karen and Kevins of the world, and the "solutions" are more tax breaks for wealthy and big corporations.

Also, if you live in the Moore / Norman area and are looking for a fun side gig, hit me up:


Oklahoma man grows trippy badass corn with technicolor dream coat

That's pretty cool. I wonder if the pale pink ones taste like Strawberry Starburst? If


OKC Thunder trying to keep as many people away from the arena as possible

Based on Clark Matthews's predictions, I don't think you can blame them!

Obviously, pandering Derplahoman politicians who never go to Thunder games are outraged:

That being said, some of the privileged offspring from the Oklahoma City ruling class who trusted and leaned on modern medical science to save their life from cancer, but haven't got a vaccine to protect themselves from a deadly virus that's killed 1 in 400 Oklahomans, don't like the requirement:


Drunken lunatic goes off-roading at Lake Hefner

I wonder if the Apple Watch has a "running from drunken moron" setting in their exercise apps?


Oklahoma mason goes to nationals

He broke the previous record of 550 set by Andre Roberson during the 2016-2017 Thunder season


With no severe weather to fearmonger, Mike Morgan is now hyping monarch butterfly invasions.

I saw this Tweet in real-time and walked outside to look at all the butterflies. I didn't see one, but did attacked by a horse fly. Go figure.

In the past couple of days, I have seen a few monarchs stumbling around, but that's it. I chalk up Mike Morgan's tweet to Mike Morgan just being Mike Morgan, and hyping up total bullshit for attention.

A butterfly ecologist kind of called him out on it:

Then again, maybe all the migrating birds ate the butterflies?


Brian Bosworth is a hypocrite

Out of all the people who played college football in the past, you'd think Brian Bosworth – a.k.a. The Boz – would be in favor of college athletes profiting from their name, image and likeness. In today's day and age of absolute hypocrisy, that's not the case:

In all fairness, maybe Bosworth doesn't want today's kids to make all the selfish, moronic decisions he made as a player. That's fair, but I think the college kids need to figure that out on their own, and not hear it from an old washed-up college athlete who brought shame to their university.

On the topic of washed-up athletes, Mike Gundy also has strange thoughts about today's athletes:

As the head coach, maybe Gundy should run his program like they did back in yesteryear? At the very least, he should recruit The Pioneer Woman as their nutritionist. She'll make sure all the players get plenty of fried food and butter.


Anyway, that concludes this round-up. Have a nice weekend and we'll see you next week.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter