Like an empty plate of Cattlemen's calf fries, the saga of the backwoods, black market, "allegedly"cannibalistic castrators from southeastern Oklahoma is finally behind us. You can view our original report about the crazy tale here.
Earlier this week, Stormin' Nolan Clay – The Oklahoman's award-winning castration correspondent – informed us that Bob Lee Allen, the mastermind behind the clandestine castration operation (and AIRBNB getaway) was sentenced to 12 years behind bars after pleading guilty or no contest to a variety of charges.
These charges include:
• Conspiracy to commit unlicensed surgery (felony) • Practicing medicine without a license (felony) • Distribution of psychedelic mushrooms (felony) • Not disposing of the removed testicles (misdemeanor)
In all fairness to Allen, does anyone really know how to properly dispose of another man's testicles? I'm not ballsy enough to do a Google search to find out, but I guess putting them in a plastic bag and then tossing them in your freezer doesn't count.
According to Nolan's article, Bob plead guilty because, well, he was guilty:
The plea in Le Flore County District Court came after a deal was struck with prosecutors. He told the judge he believed the plea was in his best interest because "a jury might convict me."
The plea also came after Allen's husband, Thomas Evans Gates III, agreed to testify against him at trial.
In all honesty, this is kind of a sad story.
As we noted back in our original report, Allen and Gates looked like a happy, loving couple. It's very Shakespearan that the thing they loved most – castrating men in their backwoods cabin – is what would eventually tear them apart.
Anyway, I guess we should wrap this story up like a bleeding wound from a makeshift surgery that won't heal. I hope Allen and Gates have learned their lesson, and while in prison, stick to performing more acceptable black market operations, like giving other inmates tattoos, or making sun sausage: