Whether you're a right-wing wacko or left-wing snowflake, we've found a hot and witty new clothing item that belongs in your wardrobe.
Earlier this week, Jackson Lahmeyer – the alt-right insurrectionist theocrat challenging James Lankford for the US Senate - recently unveiled a line of "Yank The Lank" campaign t-shirts.
He's even been running Facebook ads in an effort to sell them:
As I've stated in the past, I'm not a fan of Jackson Lahmeyer. Any human who makes James Lankford look like a sane and reasonable choice for the US Senate obviously has some issues, and isn't mentally competent enough to serve in public office.
That being said, I do admire that he's immature enough to go with a double entendre campaign slogan that also serves as a euphemism for what James Lankford does each night while thumbing through a Pentecostal fashion magazine!
In fact, I think Jackson Lahmeyer should launch a whole line of James Lankford masturbation-euphemism apparel! It would be an instant collector's item. What election-denying insurrection wouldn't want to own and wear a Wank the Lank, Crank the Lank, and of course, Spank the Lank custom t-shirt.
That being said, in politics what goes around comes around. With Lahmayer casting the first blow, I wouldn't be surprised if Lankford now launches his own collection of Jackson Lahmeyer masturbation euphemism apparel. Here's one idea:
Lankford can also go with other giggle getters like Thwack the Jack, Clack the Jack and Smack the Jack. I think Waxen Jackson is an option, too.
Then again, Lankford could keep it classy and accurate and just go with the honest approach:
Anyway, I guess we'll continue to follow this story and see what other creative slogans these two right-wing Derplahomans come up with in their effort to win the election, and continue the fine GOP tradition of embarrassing Oklahoma on the national level. Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.