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Stitt flees Oklahoma to visit glorious Azerbaijan!

8:40 AM EDT on July 27, 2021

Hello comrades!

In case you didn't know, our great leader honorable Governor Kevin Stitt is on a "business trip" this week to glorious Azerbaijan.

For the gumshoes who didn't play or watch Where In The World is Carmen San Diego as a kid, Azerbaijan is not a hot new ski resort in New Mexico, but a flyover country in the mid-section of Europe and Asia. It's kind of like the Oklahoma of Euro-Asia. The only difference is that instead of its population being 97% Evangelical Christian, they're 97% Muslim.

Naturally, there are a lot of questions about Stitt's visit. The first and most natural being "Why?" I checked Trip Advisor to search for the answers, but it looks like the country's not known for its tourism.

Here's how Stitt's office explained the trip to their mouthpieces at The Tulsa World:

Gov. Kevin Stitt arrived in Azerbaijan on Monday to start a weeklong trip to promote and expand Oklahoma's strategic partnership with the country on the Caspian Sea.

The Oklahoma National Guard established the first official relationship between Oklahoma and Azerbaijan through the State Partnership Program in 2002, according to a news release. Officials said the relationship expanded in 2019 when an Azerbaijan delegation visited the Sooner State for the Oklahoma-Azerbaijan Agricultural Forum.

The relationship will be expanded during the trip when Oklahoma State University and Azerbaijan State Agricultural University finalize a memorandum of understanding to jointly develop academic programs and facilitate student and faculty exchanges.

Yeah, that's it. Kevin Stitt – a huge advocate for education and other cultures – traveled to a distant country to "jointly develop academic programs and facilitate student and faculty exchanges." I guess that means we should expect the new Oklahoma Center of Pandemic Greatness and Supreme Excellence to make the move to Baku in a year or two, which will still be easier and more convenient to access than our trailers in Stillwater.

If you want to know the real reason for Stitt's visit, I'd advising playing a game of read between the lines. It may not get you closer to the truth, but it's more fun.

First of all, Stitt's not the first Oklahoma politician known for cozying up with the semi-authoritarian regime. Back in 2016, former Oklahoma congressman Jim Bridenstine was the subject of an ethics investigation after he took an all-expenses-paid trip to Azerbaijan that was secretly funded by Azerbaijan’s state-run oil company. He even accepted cool award at the country's welcome center in Houston:

In addition to that, Oklahoma's oil overlords have strong connections to Azerbaijan. If you're old enough to remember the OKC Hornets, and have a weird enough memory like I do to recall some of their old commercials, you'd probably remember the old Devon spots that went something to the effect of "They know who we are in Azerbaijan." That's because Devon was a master of exploiting the company's natural resources from the early 1990s through the early part of last decade. More than likely, the Oil Overlords from House Devon still have roots in this part of the world, and Stitt's visit will help or benefit them in some way. I bet that has more to do with it than whatever excuse Stitt's office came up with.

Anyway, we hope Stitt has a good time on his vacat...er... work trip. Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.

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