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Report: OKC still fat and unhealthy

7:18 AM EDT on July 19, 2021

Last week, a clickbait ranking of the healthiest big cities in America hit the Internet. Guess who was ranked dead last.

Via News 9:

Oklahoma City is ranked dead last for healthiest big city in America. Health experts in the state said they're not surprised.

In reference to things like health care access, obesity rates, and recreation opportunities, Oklahoma City fell short.

Yeah, that's about the least surprising news to hit the Internet this year, but why does it have to be so negative? If you want to live a lazy, sedentary lifestyle in an unwalkable, button-bursting town with a fast food joint (and marijuana dispensary) on every corner and poor access to healthcare, come to Oklahoma City! Around here, every week is meat week, especially if you like it fried.

Because this news doesn't involve someone praising him on social media, Mayor David Holt has been relatively quiet on the issue. I'm not sure why. He could totally use this as an opportunity to get more attention for himself, which is the whole reason he's the mayor in the first place... right?

If Mayor McSelfie needs some guidance, he should just look at his mentor and predecessor...

Back in the aughts, Mayor Cornett was able to spin our city's bloated BMI into positive attention for himself with the whole This City Is Going On A Diet thing. Remember that? Our residents apparently lost a million pounds, and like most people on diets, apparently gained the weight back once they got back into a relationship.

Although the program was more of a shallow OKC Chamber of Commerce-backed PR gimmick than a legit plan to make our city healthier, it got Mayor Mick a spot on Ellen, praise in flack-driven publications, and even his own line of cardboard cutouts promoting the Taco Bell "Fresco Menu."

That's still hysterical. This city is going on a diet... by eating Taco Bell. That makes as much sense as playing Golden Tee to exercise. I can't believe it didn't work better.

David Holt could probably pull off a similar PR gimmick campaign, but also put a nice little Millennial touch on it.

For example, instead of putting the city on diet, he could put the city on a seven-day cleanse or intermittent fasting. That would at least get him a spot Dr. Oz, right?

In addition to that, he could work out a deal with the local Chick-fil-A franchises to promote their "Grilled" salads or nuggets, or something else from the Health Halo. It may not help our city get any healthier, but just think of all the selfie opportunities he'd have with his own cardboard cutout! He'd probably respond to all the social media praise with "My Pleasure ?." Hehe.

Anyway, I guess we'll continue to monitor this and see if Mayor McSelfie goes with any of our ideas. I'm hungry and need to hit up a drive-thru for lunch.

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