Time to move on to our final region of the first round of Ogle Madness XIII. This morning's upper bracket will be played out in Ponca City with a lot of big names, including three whole Ogles. This one is sure to be a barn-burner.
Here's who will be duking it out:
(1) Abigail Ogle vs (16) Epic Charter Schools
(8) OG&E vs (9) Hobby Lobby
(4) Kevin Stitt vs (13) Bella Coquette Vixen
(5) Ogle Brothers vs (12) Scissortail Park
(1) Abigail Ogle
Who: The Ogle Matriarch Who Shall Rule The World Someday
Biggest Strength: Can defeat any Twitter or Facebook troll with the ease of a Gary England quip
Biggest Weakness: She has to share a surname with this website
vs.
(16) Epic Charter Schools
Who: Scammy virtual charter school the syphons money away from legit public schools
Biggest Strength: Making millionaires out of the school's founders
Biggest Weakness: Educating students
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(8) OG&E
Who: Oklahoma's largest electric provider
Biggest Strength: They can charge what they like and fuck up constantly with no consequences
Biggest Weakness: Clearing trees from powerlines
vs.
(9) Hobby Lobby
Who: Ultra-conservative Christian craft chain store
Biggest Strength: Selling decorative wreaths, overpriced picture frames, and acrylic paint
Biggest Weakness: Treating employees humanely during COVID
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(4) Kevin Stitt
Who: The Governor of the Great State of Oklahoma
Biggest Strength: Skiing. Also, his irrational confidence obviously got him somewhere.
Biggest Weakness: Completely bungling a pandemic to 'open business up!' which resulted in death rates that were close to international records.
vs.
(13) Bella Coquette Vixen
Who: Modeling alias of former Norman Ward 7 city council candidate Monica Marsh
Biggest Strength: Normalizing sexy modeling. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being sexy for money.
Biggest Weakness: But she's also a Unite Norman creep that is dragging along the dead horse of the MAGA movement.
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(5) Ogle Brothers
Who: Kevin, Kent and Kelly
Biggest Strength: Great chins, just pure action movie chins, jumping out of helicopter chins.
Biggest Weakness: They won't let Patrick or the rest of us in on their golf club membership.
vs.
(12) Scissortail Park
Who: The massive new Downtown OKC paid for with our tax bucks.
Biggest Strength: It's a good place to ride your bike to and drink a tallboy on the top of the hill.
Biggest Weakness: Despite how much money was drained into it, it's still kinda ugly.
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Check back in this afternoon for the lower bracket!
