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Ogle Madness: Midwest Region, Upper Bracket

4:55 AM EDT on March 19, 2021

Time to move on to our final region of the first round of Ogle Madness XIII. This morning's upper bracket will be played out in Ponca City with a lot of big names, including three whole Ogles. This one is sure to be a barn-burner.

Here's who will be duking it out:

(1) Abigail Ogle vs (16) Epic Charter Schools
(8) OG&E vs (9) Hobby Lobby
(4) Kevin Stitt vs (13) Bella Coquette Vixen
(5) Ogle Brothers vs (12) Scissortail Park

(1) Abigail Ogle

Who: The Ogle Matriarch Who Shall Rule The World Someday

Biggest Strength: Can defeat any Twitter or Facebook troll with the ease of a Gary England quip

Biggest Weakness: She has to share a surname with this website

vs.

(16) Epic Charter Schools

Who: Scammy virtual charter school the syphons money away from legit public schools

Biggest Strength: Making millionaires out of the school's founders

Biggest Weakness: Educating students

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(8) OG&E

Who: Oklahoma's largest electric provider

Biggest Strength: They can charge what they like and fuck up constantly with no consequences

Biggest Weakness: Clearing trees from powerlines

vs.

(9) Hobby Lobby

Who: Ultra-conservative Christian craft chain store

Biggest Strength: Selling decorative wreaths, overpriced picture frames, and acrylic paint

Biggest Weakness: Treating employees humanely during COVID

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(4) Kevin Stitt

Who: The Governor of the Great State of Oklahoma

Biggest Strength: Skiing. Also, his irrational confidence obviously got him somewhere.

Biggest Weakness: Completely bungling a pandemic to 'open business up!' which resulted in death rates that were close to international records.

vs.

(13) Bella Coquette Vixen

Who: Modeling alias of former Norman Ward 7 city council candidate Monica Marsh

Biggest Strength: Normalizing sexy modeling. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being sexy for money.

Biggest Weakness: But she's also a Unite Norman creep that is dragging along the dead horse of the MAGA movement.

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(5) Ogle Brothers

Who: Kevin, Kent and Kelly

Biggest Strength: Great chins, just pure action movie chins, jumping out of helicopter chins.

Biggest Weakness: They won't let Patrick or the rest of us in on their golf club membership.

vs.

(12) Scissortail Park

Who: The massive new Downtown OKC paid for with our tax bucks.

Biggest Strength: It's a good place to ride your bike to and drink a tallboy on the top of the hill.

Biggest Weakness: Despite how much money was drained into it, it's still kinda ugly.

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Check back in this afternoon for the lower bracket!

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