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Satire

Second Thunder Employee Linked To Capitol Insurrection!!!

5:37 AM EST on March 3, 2021

Earlier this week, the Oklahoma City Thunder found themselves in news they'd like to avoid when it was revealed one of their former employees – a rightwing nutjob named Nicole Doyle – was charged for her part in the attempted insurrection at the US Capitol on January 6th.

Although she has extreme political views and wanted to witness and participate in the fall of American Democracy, she was one hell of a season ticket account manager according to her LinkedIn account,

Since Doyle's arrest, we have learned via the Ogle Mole Network that another Thunder employee is under investigation for his role in the attacks. We acquired these photos from a source in the FBI that shows the perp participating in the siege while brazenly and openly wearing Thunder team apparel.

According to you our sources, the employee's name is Rumble – a long-time employee in the team's "Fan Services" department. He's a giant, god-like beast who was struck by a magical bolt of lightning in the Arbuckle Mountains after being separated from his herd.

Here's more:

The fact that Rumble participated in the siege shouldn't be a surprise. Over the years, his tweets have gone from fun and festive to sad and deranged. He's also openly supported online conspiracy theories. For example, check out this tweet he issued the morning of January 6th.

Here are a couple more photos we found:

If you come across Rumble, do not approach him. He's been known to carry a semi-automatic t-shirt cannon and is considered armed and dangerous.

If you have any more photos of Thunder employees participating in the attack on American democracy, send them our way. Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.

Editor's note: This is obviously satire. People are smart enough to figure that out, aren't they???

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