As we discussed last week in this groundbreaking article, clickbaity websites such as Lawn Starter and Wallet Hub love ranking Oklahoma on the most random features. While most of these sites focus on rating states based on useless information like, “happiness,” “manufacturing,” and “car insurance,” we at TLO think there are better qualities by which to judge states. So, here’s 7 clickbait studies Oklahoma should really be rated on!
Most Likely to Wear Jeans to a Funeral (3rd place)
Thank God we have enough southern Baptist aunts in this state to dilute the jeans-wearing pool with polyester dress suits at any given church service to keep us from being #1.
Robin Migration During a Snow-pocalypse (1st place)
In all seriousness, have y’all seen how many robins seem to be literally chillin in the trees this week? I’m beginning to think the three pounds of birdseed I put out on Thursday is really growing birds at this point. Goddang.
Stormchasers per square male (1st place)
I think our current total is 7.2, which beats Kansas by 5 points.
Barbed Wire Tattoos Per Capita (again, 1st place)
Being that legitimate legal tattoo shops were illegal in Oklahoma until 2006, barbed wire tattoos were the top choice of body art for Oklahomans up until then thanks to the design needing only 1 color (black? grey?) and no perfectly straight lines.
State's That Hate Blue Cheese Dressing (1st place)
We put ranch dressing on our pizza, and apparently our Pop-Tarts. Blue Cheese dressing can fight us.
Most Likely to Own a Wild Animal (2nd place)
I’m not even talking about some Joe Exotic-inspired big cat accumulation here. I think I know more people in this state who have owned raccoons and de-scented skunks than have owned valid drivers’ licenses at this point. Still, I’m sure somehow Arkansas still has us beat here.
Gluten Addiction (2nd place)
By how many photos of metro grocery stores with wiped-out shelves I saw posted on social media this week, I’m beginning to think even the vegans stocked up on milk for these “blizzard-like” conditions.