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Stitt officiates maskless wedding for Ted Cruz’s pollster…

4:16 AM EST on January 14, 2021

Last weekend, while I was piled under blankets wondering (and still wondering) when my misery will end, someone sent me this pic of a button-bustin' Ted Cruz flying into OKC:

Although he may have been trading notes on how to reject another state's election with James Lankford, the real reason Ted Cruz was in town was to attend a wedding for his "data guy" – Chris Wilson. Chris, along with his ex-wife, is the co-founder of Wilson Research Strategies. He apparently once followed us on Twitter until he got mad at an article that, in hindsight, totally hit the nail on the head:

You can't blame Chris for getting mad that we accurately described our Governor's successful plan to increase the spread of the virus. They're apparently BFFs. In fact, they're such good friends that Governor Super Spreader even officiated Chris's wedding this past weekend!

We found a few photos of the wedding on social media, and with deadly Covid cases soaring across Oklahoma – something we write too often here at The Lost Ogle – there naturally wasn't a mask being worn in any of them.

In case you care, the beautiful bride is Stephanie Hunsucker. She was Chris's hairstylist or make-up person or whatever, and is a 2009 graduate of Putnam City high school. Polling tells me Chris really robbed the cradle on that one.

You can't blame Stitt for not wearing a mask while officiating the wedding. With Chris being an anti-masker, it was probably against protocol. Plus, Stitt's a hypocritical right-wing douche bag who implores Oklahomans to wear masks and follow Covid safety protocols to prevent spreading the virus, all while totally disregarding that advice when he goes about his private life. Oklahoma Standard, ya'll!

Here's another pic:

If I saw Ted Cruz at a wedding, I'd also ask to take a pic with him. Unless you're James Lankford's photographer, it's not every day you get the chance to take a pic with a slimy villain who helped incite an insurrection at our nation's capital.

Here's another:

Yeah, basically the closest thing to a mask being worn at the wedding was the giant disc in that one dude's earlobe. I bet he tipped the DJ $5 to play KORN or P.O.D. or some other popular band from the early 2000s – you know, the era in time when I thought people stopped getting those things.

Anyway, we'd like to wish Chris and Stephanie a happy marriage feeding each other right-wing talking points. They appear to have about a 25-year age difference, and despite what most polls tell us about those relationships, I'm sure it will work out great!

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