CRISIS 2020: Oklahoma is facing a coin shortage. Here’s what YOU can do!

9:20 AM EDT on July 27, 2020

Things are getting worse, my friends. Our state is facing a crisis--nay, crises-- that are wreaking havoc upon our collective livelihoods and wellbeing. And according to KFOR, we may be our only hope…

OKLAHOMA CITY (KFOR) – A coin shortage is being felt in Oklahoma, and the Oklahoma bankers are calling upon community members to help fix the problem by cashing in their spare change.

The Oklahoma Bankers Association issued a news release calling upon consumers to deposit their spare change at their local bank or coin-cashing machines.

“When COVID-19 restrictions went into place, establishments like retail shops, bank branches, and laundromats—the typical places where coin enters society—closed, it significantly slowed the normal rate of coin circulation,” the news release states.

“If you have spare change, we encourage all Oklahomans to check with their local bank to see if they are accepting rolled coins, use exact amounts when purchasing items, or deposit them in grocery store coin-cashing machines.”

That’s right, my fellow Oklahomans. There is a nation-wide coin shortage. And much like every other crisis that is co-occurring, it’s been left up to the Oklahoma people to work it out for themselves. So my friends, it’s time we take this “personal responsibility” to a whole new level. Here are 5 things YOU can do to help America get its coins back.

Make it Hail at The Red Dog

Next time you go to a local strip club like the Red Dog, put away those dollar bills and make it hail with quarters... for America. Just be polite and don't hit anyone in the face, as you don't want to knock out any false teeth.

Hold a Garage Sale

You may think those Reba cassette tapes, Snowman throw pillows, and Bon Jovi “Slippery When Wet” tour t-shirt are all useless junk. But there are many Oklahomans who would gladly pay up to $3 in loose change for a chance to snag them. And by many Oklahomans, I mean me.

Go to Quarter Beer Nights at OKC Cowboys

Although we're not sure if coin beer nights are legal anymore (it could be why Graham's went out of business), you might as well make a trip to OKC Cowboys to see if it's still around. As pictured above, you can still stay healthy and safe while contributing to the economy and being country as f*ck.

Clean Out Your Car

As someone who has driven a collective 47 miles over the last four months, I can tell you that now is the most important time to clean out your car. Not only will you discover a missing pyrex dish and half-empty coffee mugs you brought home from work in March, but you will also find about $3.42 in quarters and pennies that you can use to pay for the car wash vacuum and a “Black Ice” air freshener.

Dismantle Your State Quarter Map

If you had a grandparent anytime between 1997 and 2004, odds are you were gifted one of those cardboard state quarter maps that were all the rage in infomercials that aired before The Price is Right or after Wheel of Fortune. The map holds 56 coins, which translates to $14 or enough change to buy two handles of Tvarscki Vodka.

Hayley is lucky enough to have TWO state quarter maps. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek.