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7 items on Kevin Stitt’s Walmart shopping list

5:12 AM EDT on July 17, 2020

Earlier this week, Oklahoma governor and personal responsibility-advocate Kevin Stitt found himself being drug by the internet after he was photographed shopping in Walmart without a mask three days before testing positive for COVID-19. Now in Stitt’s defense, grocery stores have always been considered “essential” services and everyone needs a little something-something from Walmart every now and again. In fact, here are 7 “essential” items Stitt had on his Walmart shopping list.

Ibuprofen

He probably picked this up for the body aches he was supposedly experiencing Tuesday before receiving his positive COVID-19 results. Hopefully the medicine kicked in before his meeting with Lt. Governor Matt Pinnell and other officials Tuesday.

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A Physical CD of “Now That’s What I Call Music: Volume 42”

Okay, so this was more of an impulse buy than actual item on his list. With hits such as, “Earthquake” by Labrinth and Busta Rhymes and “Sorry for Party Rocking” by LMFAO, this 2012-era CD easily caught the attention of our unapologetically out-of-touch governor.

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Goya

I'm pretty sure this was on every Trump supporters shopping list last weekend.

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His Hydroxychloroquine Prescription

Since the state of Oklahoma has already invested $2 million into the anti-malaria drug, even though researchers have very little evidence to support its efficacy in treating COVID-19, Stitt thought he might as well give it a whirl.

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Breath Mints

It’s rude enough to spread COVID-19 by holding conversations with constituents and other leaders without wearing a mask. Think of how much worse it would be if Stitt also had stale breath. At least Stitt’s virus particles were spearmint-scented.

A 24-Pack of Generic, “Get Well Soon” Cards

Stitt seems to have come into contact with a lot of people before he got his positive test results Tuesday. The least he could do is send a card.

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A Copy of a Decision-Making Workbook

The Walmart at Penn & Memorial has many wonderful decision-making books in stock, including, What’s Your Decision? How to Make Decisions with Confidence and Clarity and Make Great Decisions Christian Workbook for Teen Girls. Stitt has plenty of time to do some light reading while in quarantine and God knows he needs to reflect on his decision-making skills.

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In all seriousness, we hope for a speedy recovery, Stitt. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek

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