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Kevin Stitt wants Elon Musk to move Tesla to Oklahoma…

12:29 PM EDT on May 13, 2020

Sometimes, I worry that the isolation of quarantine is making me lose my grip on sanity. Then, I go online and see that everybody else in the world is losing their goddamn minds, and it's been the only warm solace I've found in the last few months other than that Michael Jordan documentary and whiskey.

Kevin Stitt has always come off to me like a maniac with the smooth brain of an age-stunted junior high baseball coach, so it shouldn't come as a surprise how he has been bungling the pandemic by leashing himself to the president and salivating at the thought of people dying in exchange for his rich friends to be able to reopen their Ski-Doo dealerships.

This last week, he tugged at a billionaire's pant legs hoping to get fed some scraps:

I wouldn't say letting shopping malls and salons and Kong's Tavern open in the midst of 4,300 COVID-19 cases that aren't dropping is 'doing it safely, responsibly, and based on the data in our state,' but you do you, Stitt.

The only shocking part about this is that Stitt would defy the oil overlords and encourage a company who makes electric cars to move to Oklahoma. How the hell will Chesapeake ever recover if Oklahomans all start driving Teslas with OU bumper stickers?

Anyways, Elon Musk is a clown with infinitely more money than sense, which is apparent by spending any time looking at his Twitter feed. That is the magic combination to entice a 'let's make government like a corporation' type of leader like Stitt, so I'm sure their eventual Zoom meeting will be fruitful.

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