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Edmond Family Terrorizes Neighborhood With Backyard Bowling Alley

4:33 AM EDT on April 28, 2020

It's a weird goddamn time right now being so isolated that my iceberg of depression grows every day, but at the same time I'm a day away from joining NextDoor so I can complain about all the kids playing at general racket in my neighborhood. I've resorted to drunk dialing old friends late at night just to hear their voices, and I LOATHE talking on the telephone.

But even with all the irritating racket of my neighbors, today I learned I am very thankful that I do not live next door to this family. From The Oklahoman:

When businesses started to shut down in an attempt to slow the spread of COVID-19, it meant for many that they would be unable to go to the gym to work out or train for sports.

Some, who rely on specific equipment, have been unable to train at all.

This did not stop Eric Jones, an Edmond Memorial High School student who competes in bowling competitions nationally.

“So when the bowling alley closed because of quarantine, we were trying to figure out what to do,” said Heath Jones, Eric’s dad. “And so (Eric) saw that one of the (Professional Bowlers Association) members built a bowling alley in their backyard, so we did it similar to that.”

Eric and his dad spent three weeks working two to four hours each day to build a bowling alley in their backyard so he could continue to practice, complete with a pinsetter and a ball return.

Look, I'm totally being a grinch here, it's a very sweet gesture, and having a private bowling lane would be awesome. And normally, being inside a bowling alley provides some of the most soothing ambiance there is. The sound of the balls wooshing gently down the hardwood floor, that inimitable clatter of pins collpasing, the soft whirring of the weird little fan that dries your fingers off at the ball return...

But there is no way in hell I wanna hear that through my window in the middle of the night, which is currently 3pm for me because time no longer exists. That's not even to mention the weekly Rock N Bowl parties where they bring out the blacklights and blast Def Leppard.

Kudos to this dad, hope they're having fun but seriously people, keep it down, I'm trying to mope.

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